Haggard (2003 Video)

Ryan Dunn: Ry

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ryan Dunn : That's a nice tattoo you got there. What does that mean?

  Girl at Coffee Shop : It means desire.

  Ryan Dunn : Desire huh? What the fuck does that mean? Does that mean you're into dudes with fuckin' long hair, smell like beer, have shitty tattoos; maybe they hang out at the bowling alley! Maybe, just maybe you'll go out back and rub their sick crotch; he'll stick his hands down your pants. Meanwhile, your boyfriend's sittin' at home jerkin off to fuckin' gay porn.

• Glauren : What I need right now is heavy metal music, hard drinkin, mayhem, shit you can't offer me right now, okay Ryan?

  Ryan Dunn : Who are you? You don't even like fast music - you don't even drink.

  Glauren : [indignant]  Yeah. Before I met Hellboy. You know what your problem is? You always want shit to stay the same, okay? I need to get out there. I wanna play the field - of dicks.

  [beat] 

  Ryan Dunn : Eww.

• Officer : Hellboy?

  Ryan Dunn : Picture a guy named Hellboy... and that's what he looks like.

• Ryan Dunn : [after Glauren apologizes]  Get lost.

  [she turns around and smacks Valo] 

• Ryan Dunn : You dumped me for someone named fucking HELLBOY? What the hell is the matter with you?

• Ryan Dunn : Dude! She got fingered!

• Ryan Dunn : You look beautiful today.

  Glauren : You look like shit.

  Ryan Dunn : Gee thanks, why do you think I'm in here? I'm getting my hair cut. I know I look like shit.

• [Talking about Hellboy's tattoo] 

  Glauren : Actually, he's got a rhino. Ya' know, I'm a Leo so I like rhinos...

  [In a sarcastic voice] 

  Ryan Dunn : Yeah, rhino, real cool.

• Glauren : I got a two o'clock.

  Ryan Dunn : I am your two o'clock. You're a hairdresser, I got bad hair and I need you to cut it.

  Glauren : You're an asshole.

• Valo : Alright dude, seriously just relax okay? Look at that girl over there. She's reading a book alone. If that's not an invitation, I don't know what is.

  Ryan Dunn : What are you talking about, Valo? It's a coffee shop. People like that come here to get away from people like us.

  Valo : She is looking for ass, I can see it.

  Ryan Dunn : What does it matter? I look like shit.

  Valo : Go talk to her.

  Ryan Dunn : What do I say?

  Valo : I don't know. Compliment her on that tattoo or something.

  Ryan Dunn : Yeah, that'll work. It sounds so fucking lame.

  Valo : Worked for Glauren.