- Dana Carvey - Chief Historian Junior Supermen of America: When I was a kid, if I couldn't sleep, I would count Superman's powers. I'd usually get up to... 'ability to drink the ocean' and I'd fall asleep just like that.
- [snaps his fingers]
- Dana Carvey - Chief Historian Junior Supermen of America: When it comes to crime, Metropolis is the savest city in America. That's because the Man of Steel takes care of every thug, hooligan, rough-neck, rabscalian, flim-flam man, flathead, crane-top, shellmonger, coin & crock bottom in this town.