- Kelly Garrett: Angels are like diamonds. They can't be made, you have to find them. Each one is unique.
- [spotting their suspect]
- Alex Munday: Check it out... brown shorts, red board, 11:00. What d'you think?
- Dylan Sanders: [looking at the guy] Yummy!...
- Alex Munday: That's what I thought. Case closed. Nat move in, Dylan thinks he's hot.
- Dylan Sanders: What do you mean?
- Alex Munday: You always fall for the bad guy.
- Charles Townsend: Bosley, I hope the Angels aren't being too rough on you.
- Bosley: Man, please. I date fat women. What you talkin' 'bout?
- Madison Lee: I never wore Kevlar till I took three in the chest
- Natalie Cook, Dylan Sanders, Alex Munday: On the De Soto case - we know!
- Alex Munday: Marshal Ray Carter. I'm Alex Munday. I'll be your rescuer today.
- Carter: I didn't think you'd find me. How many men do you have?
- Alex Munday: I've got two girlfriends in the bar.
- Carter: They have fifty armed men.
- Alex Munday: I know. It hardly seems fair. C'mon!
- Madison Lee: I don't take orders from a speaker-box anymore. I work for myself.
- Natalie Cook: Well, your boss sucks.
- Madison Lee: [thinking that she's about to kill Charlie's Angels] Enjoy heaven.
- Natalie Cook: Go to hell.
- Alex Munday: [the Angels kill Madison; she dies amid flames] She's so fired.
- [Madison is talking to Charlie on the speaker box after shooting the Angels]
- Charles Townsend: Don't do this, Madison. Deep down, there must still be some good in you.
- Madison Lee: I was never good. I was GREAT!
- [shoots the speaker box]
- Mr. Munday: So, you work with Alex at the hospital?
- Alex Munday: Yes! Natalie works in the Psychiatric Ward. And Dylan is the Head of... Gynecology.
- Mr. Munday: Really?
- Dylan Sanders: Um-hmm.
- Mr. Munday: So young.
- Dylan Sanders: I know.
- Alex Munday: We were just on our way out, actually, 'cause we have such a major procedure coming up, Daddy, so...
- Natalie Cook: Duty calls. Sorry.
- Dylan Sanders: I've gotta... prep.
- Natalie Cook: Yeah... scrub up. Ha ha.
- Mr. Munday: Bu- bye.
- [Natalie and Dylan say "Bye" together]
- Mr. Munday: Bye.
- Alex Munday: See you guys in a minute. It's just a tiny emergency, but make yourself at home, okay.
- [Kisses him on the cheek]
- Mr. Munday: We'll talk later, off to the hospital, go save lives...
- [the Angels have left; He looks confused]
- Mr. Munday: Head of Gynecology?
- Dylan Sanders: And all we have is the Thin Man.
- Natalie Cook: Our Favorite Ass-Ass-in
- Alex Munday: [Holding the medal] We should get this to the lab to have it anal-ized.
- Dylan Sanders: You do that.
- Natalie Cook: I have something you'll never have.
- Madison Lee: What's that?
- [pause]
- Natalie Cook: Friends.
- Natalie Cook: Killer, huh? I just got so excited. When it's big like that I just love to ride it hard and rough.
- Max: Helen Zass. So, uh, where's that, where's that name come from originally, is that, uh "Ass-Tralian"?
- Max: Helen Zass. That's your name.
- [Looks over at Bosley]
- Max: . Is that, uh, Ass-tralian?
- Natalie Cook: Oh my god! You must have been the butt of every joke!
- Alex Munday: Did you by chance drive an Ass-tin Martin?
- Natalie Cook: Alex! We're being Ass-inine!
- Dylan Sanders: Yes. Yes you are.
- Ray Carter: [after spectacular rescue] I'm afraid I underestimated you guys.
- Natalie Cook: Yeah, that happens a lot...
- [Dylan, undercover as a nun, is eyeing a sexy young priest]
- Alex Munday: [under her breath] Thornbirds.
- Dylan Sanders: [under her breath] I know!
- [the Angels prepare to battle Madison]
- Madison Lee: Oooh! The classic Angels Kick-Ass pose. Almost gives me a nostalgia for the old days. Except back then, we did things a little differently...
- [quickly pulls out two large weapons]
- Madison Lee: ...we used *guns*!
- [shoots all three Angels]
- Madison Lee: Sorry, Charlie.
- [surprising Natalie]
- Madison Lee: What's up, Angel?
- Natalie Cook: Madison Lee?
- Madison Lee: Natalie Cook.
- Natalie Cook: Oh, my god! How'd you know?
- Madison Lee: I get the newsletter.