- Mike: Pardon the interruption but I'm Mike Wilbon. Tony, we've got the star of "The Bachelor" on today. Any advice for him when dealing with the ladies?
- Tony: I'm Tony Kornheiser and yes, the good ones like to be paid up front!
- Mike: Not those kinds of ladies, you dope!
- Tony: Oh... I can't imagine what other ones you'd be talking about.
- Dan LeBatard: Pardon the Interruption, but I'm Dan LeBatard, or as one e-mailer called me, Dan LeBa*turd*.
- Tony: I'm Tony Kornheiser.
- [to Dan]
- Tony: Oh so you did get my e-mail?
- Mike: Pardon the interruption. I'm Mike Wilbon and you'll have to pardon me today because I'm a little rusty after spending a month in Greece.
- Tony: I'm Toyn Kornheiser. Oh really? Were you in Olivia Newton-John's role?
- Mike: There you go! I'm not back for 30 seconds and you're already tossing out those lame 40 year old jokes that you only could ever possibly find funny!
- Tony: Welcome to PTI, boys and girls, where I will continue to tell 40 year old jokes and you know why? 'Cause it's funny and I KNOW FUNNY!
- [discussing use of air conditioning winds to blow baseballs foul]
- Tony: We're talking a gentle breeze, it's not like a cow blew into the bullpen!
- Tony: It's time Wilbon's weekly beatdown otherwise known as Toss-Up. Let's get the first one from our producer over the loudspeaker.
- Mailbox Voice: Mail time! Next letter! Mail this! More mail! Last one!
- [Dan Le Batard has disrupted a game of Odds Makers]
- Stat Boy: Dan, there's a reason why we get emails calling you Le Bafart, Le Baturd, Le Bajerk...
- Keith Olbermann: Pardon the interruption, but I'm Keith Olbermann and I'm happy Tony invited me here because I have some things I want to get off my chest.
- Tony: I'm Tony Kornheiser. Good evening and welcome to the end of our careers.