Cars (2006)

Larry the Cable Guy: Mater

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Lightning McQueen : He's won three Piston Cups!

  Mater : [spits out fuel]  He did WHAT in his cup?

• Mater : I knew it! I knowed I made a good choice!

  Lightning McQueen : In what?

  Mater : My best friend.

• Lightning McQueen : You know, I've really missed you Sally.

  Sally : Well, I create feelings in others that they themselves don't understand, and blah blah blah blah...

  [Both lean in to kiss] 

  Mater : McQueen and Sally, parked beneath the tree, K-I-S-S- uh... I-N-T!

  Lightning McQueen : Great timing, Mater!

• Lightning McQueen : Will you stop that?

  Mater : Stop what?

  Lightning McQueen : That driving backwards. It's creeping me out. You're gonna wreck or something.

  Mater : Wreck? Shoot! I'm the world's best backwards driver! Just watch this right here, lover boy.

• Lightning McQueen : I thought you said you'd never come back.

  Doc Hudson : Well, I really didn't have a choice. Mater didn't get to say goodbye.

  Mater : GOODBYE! Okay, I'm good.

• Lightning McQueen : Oh, I am SO not taking you to dinner.

  Sally : That's OK, Stickers. You can take Bessie.

  Mater : Oh, man, you get to work with Bessie! I'd give my left two lugnuts for somethin' like that!

• Mater : Ain't no need to watch where I'm goin'; just need to know where I've been.

• Mater : [after Lightning loses the case and is sentenced to repair the road]  Hey, I know this may be a bad time right now, but you owe me $32,000 in legal fees.

  Lightning McQueen : What?

• Sheriff : Mater! What did I tell you about talking to the accused?

  Mater : To not to.

• Mater : I'm happier 'n a tornado in a trailer park!

• Lightning McQueen : I'm a precision instrument of speed and aerodynamics.

  Mater : You hurt your what?

• Mater : [Fishing something from the bottom of a cliff]  Look at this! It's my hood! It's my hood! I ain't seen this thing in twenty years!

  [Puts it on] 

  Mater : Well, it fits perfectly. How do I look?

  [Sneezes, the hood falls back down the cliff] 

  Mater : Aw, dang.

• [McQueen is going to surprise Sally with his new look] 

  Mater : Here she comes!

  Lightning McQueen : Okay, places, everybody! Hurry! Act natural.

  [McQueen hides and everybody else gets in a perfectly straight line as Sally approaches] 

  Mater , Ramone , Flo , Luigi , Sarge , Fillmore : Hi, Sally!

  Sally : All right, what's going on?

• Mater : Git-R-Done!

• Mater : McQueen and Sally parked beneath the tree / K-I-S-somethin'-somethin'-somethin'-T.

• Lightning McQueen : I need to get to California pronto. Where am I?

  Mater : Where are ya? Shoot! You're in Radiator Springs, the cutest little town in Carburetor County.

• Mater : [Out tractor tipping]  I tell you what, buddy, it just don't get better than this.

  Lightning McQueen : Yep, you're living the dream, Mater boy.

• Mater : You know, I once knew this girl Doreen. Good-looking girl. Looked just like a Jaguar, only she was a truck! Y'know, I used to crash into her just so I could spoke to her.

  Lightning McQueen : What... are you talking about?

  Mater : I dunno.

• Sally : Hey there, Mater.

  Mater : Howdy, Sally!

  Sally : Hi, folks!

  [crowd murmuring greetings back] 

  Lightning McQueen : [to Mater]  You know her?

  Mater : She's the town attorney - and my fiancée.

  Lightning McQueen : What?

  Mater : [nudges McQueen playfully]  I'm just kiddin'. She jus' likes me for my body.

• Lightning McQueen : Officer, talk to me, babe. How long is this gonna take? I gotta get to California, pronto.

  Sheriff : Where's your lawyer?

  Lightning McQueen : I don't know. Tahiti, maybe? He's got a time share there.

  Sheriff : When the defendant has no lawyer, the court will assign one to him. Hey, anyone wants to be his lawyer?

  [Everyone backs up except Mater] 

  Mater : Shoot, I'll do it, Sheriff!

• Mater : I don't care who you are, that's funny right there.

• Mater : [hurriedly]  Hey, listen, listen! If anybody asks you, we was out smashin' mailboxes, OK?

• Mater : [in a scared voice as a spotlight hits Lightning]  It's the ghostlight!

  Kathy Copter : We have found McQueen. We have found McQueen.

• Doc Hudson : All right, I wanna know who's responsible for wrecking my town, Sheriff. I want his hood on a platter! I'm gonna put him in jail 'til he rots. No, check that... I'm gonna put him in jail 'til the jail rots on top of him, then I'm gonna move him to a new jail and let that jail rot. I'm...

  [Doc finally spots Lightning] 

  Doc Hudson : Throw him outta here, Sheriff! I want him out of my courtroom, I want him out of our town! Case dismissed!

  Lightning McQueen : Yes!

  Mater : Boy, I'm pretty good at this lawyerin' stuff!

• [tractors have stampeded the town] 

  Sheriff : MATER!

  Mater : I wasn't tractor-tippin'!

  Sheriff : Then where'd all these gol-darn tractors come from?

• Mater : My name is Mater.

  Lightning McQueen : Mater?

  Mater : Yeah, like tuh-mater, but without the "tuh."

• Lightning McQueen : [Tar falls on his bolt sticker]  Aw, man, that's just great!

  Mater : Hey, what's wrong?

  Lightning McQueen : My lucky sticker's all dirty.

  Mater : Ah, that ain't nothin'. I'll clean it for ya.

  [Starts snorting and hacking] 

  Lightning McQueen : No, no, no, no! That won't be necessary.

• Mater : What's your name?

  Lightning McQueen : You... you don't know my name?

  Mater : No, uh... no, I know your name. Is your name Mater too?

• Mater : When I say go, we go. But don't let Frank catch yeh. Go!

  [speeds off] 

• Mater : Tractors is so dumb.

• Mater : We'll talk later, Mater... hehe - later, Mater - that's funny!

• Flo : Whoo! Watchin' him is makin' me thirsty. Anybody else want somethin' to drink?

  Mater : Nah, not me, Flo. I'm on one of them there special diets. I am a precisional instrument of speed and aeromatics.

• Mater : That's Frank!

  [speeds away] 

• Mater : [looks down the road at the damage Lightning has to fix]  HOLY SHOOT!

• Lightning McQueen : [to Red the fire truck]  Hey! Hey, big fella! Yeah, you in the red! I could use a little hose down. Help me wash this off.

  [Red backs away nervously] 

  Lightning McQueen : Where's he goin'?

  Mater : Oh, he's just a little bit shy, and he hates ya for killin' his flowers.

• Lightning McQueen : [about Red, who just ran away after McQueen asked a favor of him]  Where's he going?

  Mater : Oh, he's just a little bit shy, and he hates you for killin' his flowers.

• Mater : Boy, I tell you what. I bet the roads on the moon ain't this smooth.

• Mater : Ah, love!