The Anna Nicole Show (2002–2004) User Reviews

Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield, Dorothy Stratten, Anna Nicole...

[onepotato2 · 3/10 · 8 February 2007]

This miserable show was shocking when it was on, taking the "celebrity reality show" to a drug-addled new low. It spurred debate among my friends about whether she was really as drug-numbed and stupid as she appeared, or whether the only possible appeal of the show was watching a trainwreck, and so, Smith was consciously and calculatedly provided that. Her life (on the show) was tawdry and pathetic, and of course she seemed very, very dumb.

And what a consistently bizarre final year she had; disclosing a relationship with her TV lawyer, having a baby, the baby's paternity contested, her case going before the Supreme Court & her son overdosing. When I heard about Anna Nicole Smiths death today, the first question that popped into my mind was "Who gets the money?" (which is really sad); followed by the roster of possible figures who might have wanted her dead. But perhaps I'm imposing the Marilyn Monroe storyline on this news item. The comparisons ARE striking. A.N.S. has died, conveniently, at the top of her financial game. Still, a newly wealthy mother and her heir overdose within 5 months of each other? Come on!

The next saddest thing I envisioned was a funeral consisting only of the heinous entourage of money-grubbers and hangers-on featured on her show; not a real friend among them; just a Hollywood set that provided a coddling, reality-distortion field for the starlet.

The cast dependably ricocheted around this range of freaks who can now vie for the camera as the most aggrieved; the schlep lawyer Howard K. Stern, the horrifyingly shallow, stupid and (spiritually) ugly Bobby Trendy, and that flunky, lesbian apprentice.

One can't be surprised that she's dead but an observer can be stunned that so many hoary aphorisms will be affirmed (i.e. Money didn't buy her happiness. The lawyer always gets the money! The in-laws aren't silently cheering this...)

Not to speak ill of the dead, but surely the most fortunate aspect of all this is that her daughter will not grow up under her disastrous influence. Now this child has a chance in life. Too bad one can't say the same for Michael Jacksons progeny. Sure, one can suggest that ANS might have got her act together, but really how likely was that scenario?

I give this a week to turn into a murder conspiracy. If Robert Downey Junior was considering a relapse, there's a lesson here for him.

Actually, this is kinda sad

[elizabethbennett · 10 December 2002]

I have seen this show a couple of times. To be honest, I feel kind of sorry for this lady. For starters, she is not very bright at all, I get that impression. Second, I wonder if she realizes that people are actually laughing AT HER and not WITH HER. Third, she really has no purpose in life except to eat, sleep, shop and really do nothing. I know a lot of people who would kill for this lifestyle but in my opinion, not having a purpose in life would make me feel pretty useless. I do not find humor in this show or in her at all. I just feel sorry for her....it is like she has no real purpose in life at all.

If you have money use it to help others, not destroy yourself.

[davidphilbarbara · 1/10 · 20 July 2008]

With all her money, why in the world didn't Anna Nicole think to buy that toothless cousin of hers some teeth? Even when she gave her a makeover she didn't think of that! Also maybe her dog would not have tried to have sex with stuffed toys if it had been fixed! But anyone think if that? NO! Movie stars make me sick, they could help so many people and do so much good with their money, yet most of them can think of nothing to use it for except for drugs, booze, and partying! Shame on them! Yet I do feel a great deal of pity for Anna Nicole, she thought fame and fortune would bring her happiness,and she had to learn the hard way that they do not. It was for people like her that Jesus Christ died for.

Possibly the most worthless show - EVER

[Asteri-Atypical · 1/10 · 16 September 2002]

This show is unbelievable in that it lacks any perceivable value to anyone. It's perhaps the most value-less show ever to be seen.

I don't say things like this lightly. I have seen "poor" and "pathetic" and said so. I've seen shows which may not be *MY* tastes but I could see where they may appeal to someone who is angry enough, drunk enough or high enough. I can even see where someone might stare at a lava lamp for hours. Yet this show is worse than them all. Finally a network has come up with a show with less entertainment value than the lava lamp.

I've seen trashier. I've seen equally as stupid. I've seen more repulsive. Yet the Anna Nicole show is even lesser value. At least "trashy" or "revolting" are qualities which "shock" the sensibilities and appeal to certain groups. To each their own. Yet the Anna Nicole show even lacks these dubious appeals.

This show is about not a clever commentary on "nothing" like Seinfeld. It actually *IS* nothing. A woman without charm, intelligence or any redeeming qualities going about ansolutely nothing of interest.

Television has reached a new low with this one. I suggest anyone considering watching this move up a few notches and watch a good MLM infomercial or tune into the test pattern late at night.

Is she really as "stupid" as you guys think?

[jthomas-63 · 10/10 · 12 September 2006]

Most people have commented on Anna Nichol's intelligence and her weight, but what I don't understand is, most of these people probably aren't making the money she is. She couldn't be that dumb. How much do you guy's make every year? Does each one of you have perfect bodies? Could any one of you make as much money as she does without even being "dumb" or "overweight"? If she has these two problems and still can be successful, then who's really stupid. Give her a break...she made a comeback and there's enough money in the world to go around. I believe the point of her show was to make people interested enough to watch, which you all did. That, my dear friends, was the reason they aired the show and you all fell for it. Everything is a reality show now, whether good or bad. I'm sure no one held a gun to your head and made you watch it. The fact that you decided to watch her show is on you. She's making more money than you'll ever see in your lifetime.....sweeeeeeeeeeeet.

cheese is delicious!

[kevinangvick · 8/10 · 2 October 2006]

I called my 78 year old mother a few years ago and she told me she was watching the "Anna Nicole show". How hilarious! My dear old mom an Anna Nicole fan. She said it was a terrible show and yet she couldn't look away. For that reason alone I may be the only person alive who will write a "good" review of the show. I'm sorry, all you quality television snobs; but I love SPAM and aerosol cheese! I love wrestling midgets and the movie "freaks". I think this show is a much needed peek into the real life of an uneducated, mildly retarded American crazy woman. Watch with awe as she eats! Poops! Lays on the couch and makes meaningless drug addled pronouncements! What could be better?

My night with Anna Nicole

[movieman_kev · 28 March 2004]

I recently took a bet from a friend that I couldn't watch the first season DVD set of The Anna Nicole Show all in one night. The bad news is I won this bet. I don't enjoy watching a mentally unstable or heavily medicated woman go about her life. I didn't enjoy her trip to Chipendale's. Nor her goin to see "Puppetry of the Penis". I could've lived without seeing Anna's toothless white trash cousin flashing multiple times AND I had no desire to see Margerette Cho make out with Anna. (although I always had Cho pegged as being like that). Oh did I mention that the DVDs are uncensored, so all of the above possibly scarred me for life. Also on the commentary for the Christmas special Anna herself says some of it is faked by the E! crew. My Grade: F

Am I the only person who likes this?

[josephbrando · 7 October 2002]

I'm not sure why I enjoy this, because as other people have said, there certainly are grosser and more outlandish things on TV. These shows really are about nothing. One is about Anna looking for a house. Period. Another is about Anna having an eating contest with her attorney. Period. Another is about Anna going for a driving test. Period. And of course all have a sub-plot involving flambouyant Bobby Trendy decorating her house (which never seems to get done). I guess it all boils down to the fact that it is just amazing to watch someone who was so glamorous, sexy and unattainable turn into someone who doesn't care that she has crawled under a table and gotten her butt stuck between two legs! Her speech is almost always slurred so badly that it is very hard to believe she is not on pain killers or muscle relaxers and booze most of the time. But I love her!! I think her "Screw it" attitude is great! She just does not seem to care about anything! She knows there are cameras following her around at all times but thinks nothing of chowing down on Doritos and Stawberry Quik! I really feel sorry for her 2 assistants, Howard and Kim, who come across as being very desperate and secretly in love with her - both putting up with her childish temper tantrums. In one episode, Anna threw a fit and cursed out Kim because they were playing "Punch-Buggy" and Anna was insisting that the "new Volkswagon Beetles" do not count while Kim said that they did. So Anna got really angry - not "kidding around angry" but cursing her out and truly being p***ed off!! I guess Kim really doesn't have any other choice than to put up with it since she has Anna's face tattooed all over her body. Regardless of how heavy she is though, Anna still has a beautiful face, probably one of the most beautiful faces in the world. And it is refreshing to see a beautiful celebrity truly being herself, no matter how stupid and childish, rather than taking on the same boring mundane personality that is expected of them and that most other celebrities take.

Different and sort of entertaining

[cmr12 · 16 September 2002]

I've seen most episodes of the "The Anna Nicole Show" and I think it's trashy, dumb, and entertaining. It's appeal to me is that it's about a woman who has absolutely nothing to do but wait on her money from her deceased ex-husband, while she concentrates on daily chores like going to the dentist(how TRAUMATIC!),decorate her home to her own "foo foo" tastes with an interior decorator who sucks up to her, and order her ever-present assistant and attorney around. The last show I saw Anna and crew needed a break from things so badly they traveled to Las Vegas for gambling, strippers, drinking, and food. Anna and her attorney, Howard K. Stern, were getting wild, cuddling with the strippers and rubbing all over each other. Even at a buffet,(she was hungry after all that activity) Anna does not serve herself - her attorney and assistant guess what she wants, and then are surprised that Anna wanted something healthy like a salad and forgot to get it. She still has a beautiful face, and has gotten quite heavy, but it seems to not bother her unless someone brings it up - she is happy to run around in belly shirts and exotic/revealing clothing. As long as she's happy, everything is fine. She's got a short temper, the patience of a 5 year old, and goes from speaking clearly to sounding like she is spaced out on something. It takes all kinds I guess, and she certainly is one of a kind. She is outrageous, to say the least. I think it's kind of entertaining to watch, really. I can't wait for the next episode where Anna takes her pooch, "Sugar Pie" to a pet psychic!

It's supposed to be funny... it just isn't.

[liquidcelluloid-1 · 16 August 2004]

Network: E!; Genre: reality, documentary, comedy; Content Rating: TV-14 (for adult content); Classification: Contemporary (Star range: 1 - 4);

Season Reviewed: Season 1+

Wouldn't you know that E!: Entertainment Television was a cable channel that will look at the phenomenal success of the first season of 'The Osbournes' and have absolutely no idea what they are seeing. In trying to create their own version of the monster hit MTV docu-comedy, 'The Anna Nicole Show' mis-reads everything that is so engaging and likable about the Osbourne family. Based on the chosen subject of this show, they think we like Ozzy because he slurs his words unintelligibly or that we like Sharon because she's a spoiled Beverly Hills transplant. That, a few extra pounds and a trailer park attitude is pretty much all you'll find in Anna Nicole Smith - who E! wants to position as America's favorite strung-out, gold-digging over-grown baby.

Possessing not one shred of the wit, irony and evident unconditional love of 'Osbournes', 'Nicole' wants us to arrogantly mock Smith and feel better about ourselves watching her 1) house shopping while trying to find a bathtub she can fit in (no joke) 2) humiliating her son over the telephone and on theme park trips 3) being wrangled around by her handlers and specifically lawyer Howard K. Stern (an obvious tie-in in the making for E!) 4) giving us a fleeting but nonetheless traumatizing glimpse into her masturbation habits and 5) babying her dog Sugar Pie. That's it. That's the show people. If it sounds like your kind of television than you'll be in hog heaven, but you might feel awful in the morning.

This isn't hip it's just sad. I don't need my TV classy. I'm not going to call this exploitative or condemn people who want to make fun of what a pathetic individual Anna Nicole Smith has let herself become. I just need these type of shows to be funny, which this isn't. The problem with this kind of extreme television is that the results are just as extreme - it can be terrific (as evident by the perfect contemporary 4 star score I gave to 'The Osbournes: Season 1'), but when it falls it falls hard and lands flat on it's face. A miserable failure.

This show could have been a rich, stupidly funny satire of a celebrity who has outlived Hollywood's usefulness of her, but would Hollywood-worshiping E! really ever go for something like that? They just want this to be a drive-by car-wreck. It's about that much fun. "Anna" is nearly un-watchable, network constructed dreck, dragging not just through the episode, but from commercial break to commercial break. It's got a cute animated intro, I'll give it that. Reminds me of the 2nd season 'Strangers With Candy' intro. I'm sure that's not what E! was going for.

½

Terrible

[Mac-59 · 6 December 2002]

This section of the review is written for Anna:

Hi Anna. I wanted to like this Anna, I did. I watch it. But I is bored. You do nothing funny. You silly. You yell. And you dumb-dumb. Please stop this Anna. My eyes hurt like boo boo when I see you. I go watch Osbournes instead...

For the IMDb readers:

I can understand the logic: put a famous person (or family) in the limelight and rake in the bucks. It worked with the Osbournes so what went wrong here? ANNA NICHOL SMITH went wrong. So what if she is fat and retarded, she's famous right? It's gotta work right? Wrongo! If all it took was stupidity and obesity, I would be doing shows on about have the people I know. The problem is: She is boring, just like half the people I know.

Anna is also on drugs most of the time, which takes her from the blond airhead level of intelligence to the downright retarded one. But hey! Ozzy seems like he's on drugs ALL the time too (even though he isn't) but he has wit and charm and the ability to deliver some terrific one-liners. Anna doesn't. Anna is just dull and pathetic. If you don't believe me, go watch for yourself.

Spam For Television

[tiekbane · 30 September 2002]

After watching this show, I feel yucky. Anna Nicole Smith is one of the most repellent 'personalities' to ooze across the TV screen in this generation. I use the term 'personality' liberally. She, nor her entourage possess even a modicum of insight, tenderness, humor or drama. A typical day in the life of Anna Nicole (and by proxy, a typical show) consists of people eating (sometimes in contests) , decorating her house, watching TV, shopping, driving around, going to the bathroom, throwing temper tantrums, sneering in a barely coherent girlish voice that sounds like she's perpetually drunk and consorting with various freaks and lowlifes. Sounds like anybodies boring life (save for the freaks and lowlifes perhaps...) but the producers of this show seem to think because Anna Nicole is super rich, it makes for an interesting TV show. Actually, it looks like the producers realized they had a problem so to enliven things, they occasionally dress her up in skin tight clothes that accentuates her rotund (and growing) physique, especially her rhino-sized butt. She eats so much food on this show that the viewer can actually see her putting on weight over the course of a few episodes.

Watch one episode. Anything more is gluttony.

Anna lost ALL that weight!!!!

[blinkprincess17 · 12 November 2003]

Have you seen her recently?! Anna Nicole is now the spokesgirl for Trimspa diet pills because of her 40 pound weight loss. She's back!

Anna Nicole Smith was once a stunningly beautiful young model who had modeled for Playboy, Guess?, and Lane Bryant. Now she is a 36-year-old still-beautiful-but-slightly-overdone widow who has her own reality show in which she stars with her lawyer and best friend Howard, her 17-year-old son Daniel, and her personal assistant Kimmie. Wait, let's not forget Sugar Pie, Anna's tiny black dog that she takes with her EVERYWHERE!

Okay... well. What can I say? I enjoy this show because I enjoy Anna- she's my hero. Why? Simple. She's a big girl and she made it. I am also 5'11 with larger measurements and instead of feeling huge, I just say to myself "Anna's my size and she's gorgeous!" She makes me feel better. But don't get me wrong! I hardly approve of most of Anna's silly behavior as far as guzzling alcohol, swearing like a sailor, and having constant physical encounters with male AND female exhibitionists goes. But who the hell am I to judge the way she wants to live? I just think she's a kick to watch and I think it's really cute how she and Howard fight so much one wonders if they're really in love! Now THAT would be interesting... a new wedding for Anna? Well, maybe and maybe not, but watch at least one episode of the new season- that weight is GONE!

It's about......NOTHING just like Seinfeld!

[yenlo · 3 September 2002]

If you like to laugh and aren't wrapped too tight then tune into this show. It's about……well it's about nothing (just like Seinfeld). In a nutshell the camera follows Anna Nicole around with her little entourage. One show had her looking to buy a new house another one she goes to an amusement park to ride the roller coasters etc. She's ditzy and seems like she's on her own planet. Is it an act? Who knows…who cares it's hilarious.

Television has reached the nadir of idiocy.

[andy-227 · 21 September 2002]

First of all, before I comment on this, let me set the record straight. I don't watch much TV. I prefer not to. The overabundance of idiotic reality TV shows and ungodly irritating commercials makes me wonder how the human being can withstand such systematic torture for such prolonged periods of time. With the exception of "The History Channel", "Sundance/IFC", the news, and some documentary channels, TV is an absolute waste. And I realize I'll probably receive some sort of backlash because of my comment on television altogether, but in all honesty I don't really care because I'm entitled to my opinion just like you're entitled to your own. Anyway, one with "Anna Nicole Show"...

Wow, really, wow! I realize that TV's trying to cater to society's lowest common denominator, but this is ridiculous! Someone please tell me how this became one of the highest rated shows on the network! Please tell me why any of this is viewed as funny. For comedy, I find things funny because of timing and comedic talent. Anna Nicole herself is such a no-talent brain-dead, we wonder if she even knows her own ass from a hole in the ground. If the answer to finding Anna Nicole funny is that it's a "riot" to watch her bumble around from place to place with only one hemisphere of her mind turned on, then the answer doesn't make me laugh. It makes me cringe. Sure we like to laugh at people like Anna Nicole, but isn't there an infinitely better and vaster amount of things to watch besides that?

And again, those of you watching it and find enjoyment out of it...go ahead! Feel free to watch it! I'm not one to say watch it or don't. But watching something like "Anna Nicole" and seeing how someone show dull in intelligence can make so much money and celebrity causes me to fear greatly for the future generations to come, whatever those may be.

It can't get much worse than this...or can it?

[cellomaster · 31 October 2002]

I watched one episode of E!'s 'Anna Nicole' and that was enough for me. I actually cannot believe people can watch this garbage.

Once upon a time, there was a sexy Playboy centerfold (who later became Playmate of the Year) named Anna Nicole Smith who had a promising B-movie career. Then she ballooned to over 230 lbs and started modeling for Lane Bryant. She married a 96 year-old gazillionaire, went to court for his money when he died, and got herself a reality show on the E! channel. I must say I thought Anna was a smart, successful woman in her younger years, but I realized upon seeing her on E! that's she really a dumb blond, not to mention perverted and a lousy rolemodel for her 16 year-old son. I am really surprised he hasn't turned to a life of crime.

For those of you who can watch this show without heaving, I commend you: Your stomach is much stronger than mine.

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING - BORING

[MASONALM · 30 November 2002]

Like many people, I was originally sucked in by the tremendous "hype" before the series aired. I watch every show during the season, and now I ask myself, WHY? Anna Nicole Smith is one of the most beautiful women in the world, but if this show really reflects her day to day life, I think she is in big trouble. First, I think Children's Protective Services should investigate the manner in which her teen age child lives, seemingly without any adult supervision. At the beginning of each show, Anna, in a very clear and focused way, introduces the episode with a few words about it's content. For the remainder of the show, she acts as though she is under the influence of some mind altering drug, with her speech often slurred, and her inability to fully comprehend what is going on around her. Her two companions, (her lawyer, and her personal assistant) seem to function more as her "handlers" or "babysitters". They put up with her childish antics,yet there seems to be some type of romantic or sexual tension between them. Each show involves a series of daily events (looking for a house, looking for a personal chef, purchasing furniture, shopping for trashy lingerie, taking the driving test, going on a date. Anna often comes across as a shallow, mindless bimbo. The show does not really put her in a good light, but it's all for fun, and I guess that if you don't take it too seriously, there is some entertainment value to it. I guess a lot of people are interested in how the "other side" lives. I still think the world of Anna Nicole, but this show is not her best vehicle. Sorry Anna !

Horrible beyond mere understanding...so why do I watch it?

[perni · 11 November 2002]

The first time I saw this show, my jaw dropped in horror. First of all, this woman is insane. Now I know the Osbournes are insane too, but come on! Anna Nicole acts like someone stole her frontal lobe and sold it on the black market. Everything that comes out of her pouty lips is this mentally disabled slur, and she always walks around with her belly all pooched out. Frankly, I don't know the rest of the people she hangs out with can stand her. There's her lawyer, who is WAY too normal for this show and basically has to grit his teeth when Anna goes all 5-year-old on him and starts throwing a fit. Then there is Anna's lesbian friend who is so obviously in love with the former model that she got the chick's face tatooed on her arm. Frankly, sistah, you could do much better for yourself. Anna also has this like 15-year-old son who is just so dorky I can't even look at the poor kid. He has these freaky braces and talks with a lisp (hey, just like mommy!), and again, how can he not be embarassed by his mother?! She acts wasted or stoned the entire time the cameras are on! Oh, and then there is the puppy that humps anything that moves...and anything that doesn't. Get that little mutt fixed, Anna! But what scares me is that just like the Osbournes, the bizarre factor of the show made me come back for seconds and thirds of this woman's congealed meatloaf. But after a few episodes I just gave up, deciding I would not buy into E!'s crass attempt at cashing in on the Ozzy audience. Besides, hasn't it been cancelled already? Oh well, here's to the Liza Minelli reality show! Oh, that was cancelled before it aired? Oh, well then, pooh. .5/4 stars

Sad,pathetic,depressing, & boring series.

[tysonhollen · 18 December 2005]

I heard of Anna Nicole Show on E! one day and thought that it was about her playmate days but all that it turned out to be was an Osbournes rip-off. She only did this show because she was mad because all three of her erotic thrillers weren't popular and she wanted Hefner to notice her again & put her back in the magazine.She is just a whiny,washed-up,drugged-up playmate has-been now.She needs to accept the fact that she isn't as popular like she was in the 90's & that someone younger took her place as a playmate.All she did in the show was lay her fat lazy ass on her couch,barked orders to everyone,treated everyone else on the show like slaves,threw hissy fits whenever anyone disagreed with her or didn't let her have her own way all of the time,inhaled junk food,chugged down strawberry Nesquik, and brought that annoying mutt of hers everywhere she went and let it run all over the place and hump anyone and anything in site.Move on with your life Anna.I sure hope you win in Supreme Court against your greedy,selfish,money-hungry stepson but stop trying to relive your past.I'm glad it was cancelled.

Best New Show of the Year

[thirteenfan · 4 November 2002]

This show is great! I can't get enough..even though Anna has put on weight she is still one of the most beautiful women on TV. All these people that diss this show are just jealous that her show is doing so well. It's a trashy as Jerry Springer but as entertaining as Seinfeld, I can't wait til season 2, guess I'll have to live off reruns for awhile.

Funny...for the wrong reasons.

[Dimitri Bladaklov · 15 November 2002]

I personally am not a big fan of "reality TV." Especially cultural Godzillas such as "Big Brother" which I have an extreme disliking of, (people bleat on and on about it in the UK.) However, I happened to catch part of this show and I was thoroughly entertained...for all the unintended reasons. I was astounded by the characters and wondered if this was some sort of ironic parody, i.e Anna Nicole is just a REALLY good actor. This, in my opinion is television of the lowest calibre, it is trashy, lewd and hilarious. I'm unsure as to whether it will become a national topic when it is broadcasted terrestrially because there definitely is a LOT to talk about. From Anna's lawyer to her annoyingly camp house designer (easily the fakest of all the characters in the show) it will provide entertainment. Anna Nicole herself doesn't paint a particularly flattering portrait of herself, proclaiming that "the only thing i like more than men is money" and getting her unwilling 15 year-old son to appear in the show. Watch one episode and either be disgusted, entertained or both. However, ironically good as this is, please let us put a stop to these reality tv programmes such as "Pop Idol" , "Big Brother" or any more celebrities deciding that it would be a great idea to have a reality Tv show because frankly that are just evil.

The world's a looney bin, we just share it with Anna.

[boris-26 · 11 February 2004]

Now this is a reality show! A true peek into the American dream turned into sour milk! The opening cartoon credits show that Anna was a small town girl who came into a Playboy deal as well as meeting an almost century old zillionaire. Did she live happily ever after? Well, maybe, maybe not. The show presents Anna as almost constantly bombed out of her skull, that booze and drugs have eaten away any sort of personality she can have. Her two co-horts are her attorney and personal assistant. The episode with the drunken pizza eating contest she holds is almost terrifying.