Club Dread (2004)

Jay Chandrasekhar: Putman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Putman : [with disdain]  What kind of a man has sex with a goat?

  Juan : Hey, I used a condom.

  Jenny : [who had had sex with Juan]  You told me they were against your religion.

  Juan : Ehh, you know, I need to find Peen-a-lope. I am sure you all understand.

• Jenny : [as Lars and Putman are preparing to go into the woods]  Aren't you bringing any weapons?

  Lars : [confidently]  I have all the weapons I need.

  Putman : Piss on that! I'm bringing a mah-sheh-tay!

  [machete] 

• Putman : You've manacled me to my death-bed, you Piccadilly whore!

• Island Guest : [After hearing the Machete Phil story]  Wait, wait... you're telling me that there's some totally deranged dickless dude running around out there?

  Dave : All I'm saying is: I don't go into the jungle alone if I can help it. 'Cause you can hear him, and I've heard him... crying out... "Where's my penis? Where's my penis? Where's my penis?"

  Putman : [suddenly stands up, his pants fall down; he is doing a "dick-tuck" so that it is not visible]  And that boy was me!

  [shocked reactions from the group: some are screaming, some are laughing] 

  Dave : [stands up, his pants fall down, he is doing a "dick-tuck", too]  You're an asshole, Putman.

  [mad that Putman stole his punch-line] 

• Putman : David, you hated him for killing your parents. You see, what none of us did know, what none of us could know, was that David's parents were trampled to death at a Coconut Pete concert.

  Jenny : What the hell's wrong with you Putman? Everyone knows Dave's parents got killed at a Pete show.

  Juan : Yeah, way to bring up a sore subject.

• Sam : [referring to lyrics from a Coconut Pete song]  You know, octopus spelled backwards is supotco. Juan, isn't that Spanish for something?

  Juan : Supotco? No. But, the word for shoe is zapato.

  Sam : Hmm, shoe.

  Putman : [returning from being on stage]  What'd I miss?

  Jenny : Apparently somebody's going to get killed with a shoe.

• Hank : All right, since there's no way off this rock, we're gonna have to catch this guy.

  Putman : Catch him? We couldn't even catch the bloody raccoon that was stealing my wristbands last month.

  Hank : You didn't ask me to catch the raccoon, did you, pimp? All right, now here's the plan: you're gonna give this wing-nut exactly what he wants. You're all gonna do your jobs.

  Juan : All right then, tell me something. How the hell are we esposed to do our jobs, when somebody is killing the deek out of everybody on the island?

  Hank : Take it easy there, menstrual cramp.

• [Putman runs up to Dave and Juan in the Pacman maze in a banana suit] 

  Putman : Mmm! Mmm! Mmmm!

  Dave : Are you trying to tell us something boy? Is Timmy trapped in the well?

  [Putman motions for them to follow him] 

  Juan : [singing while running after Putman]  Follow thee banana, follow thee banana!

• Putman : I was Andre Agassi's tennis partner for a week. I'm the one who taught 'Dre how to play Cocks and Quarters. Can you believe he'd never played Cocks and Quarters?

• Sam : [thinking Lars escaped through a tiny window]  He couldn't have.

  Putman : He's far too large.

• Sam : Alright, Lars will probably come after us here.

  Jenny : We don't know for sure that it is Lars. We don't know if he got out, or if someone else got in.

  Sam : [accusing tone of voice]  What is it with you and Lars? I'm beginning to wonder if you two aren't in cahoots! I mean, let's see. You had sex with Rolo, and he's dead. You and Cliff, right? He's dead.

  Jenny : [defending herself]  Give me a break. I screwed Juan and Pete, and those guys aren't dead.

  Putman Livingston : [feeling hurt that Jenny never had sex with him]  Bloody hell, Jen! Am I the only one?

• The Killer (Putman Livingston) : [the killer stands over Putman and takes off his mask to reveal the killer is Putman]  Take that bag off your head, love, and give us a kiss.

  Putman Livingston : Wha...

  [the killer Putman plants a kiss right on real Putman's lips before he wakes up, it was a dream]