Stuck on You (2003)

Greg Kinnear: Walt Tenor

Photos 

21 more photos

Quotes 

• Walt : What's a three-letter word for man's best friend?

  April : Tit?

  Walt : No, I've tried that already.

• April : Can I ask you a personal question?

  Walt : Nine inches.

• April : [after surgery to separate the twins]  Bob, you look good.

  Walt : He looks good. What am I chopped liver?

  April : Actually, yeah.

• Walt : What's a four-letter word for snatch?

  Bob : Grab.

  Walt : Oh... right. Whoopsie.

• Walt : All right. Burgers on the house!

  [everyone shouts "Yeah!"] 

  Bob : He's just kiddin', you cheap bastards.

• Walt : Hey, Dave. How about another tall one?

  Dave : Got it. How about you there, Bob?

  Bob : No, no. No, I'm cool. I'm the designated walker tonight.

• Walt : Christ Bob, you haven't been laid in five years.

  Bob : Hey, how would you know?

  [Walt gives him a serious look] 

  Bob : Damn.

• Walt : She'll be back. Where else is she gonna find a guy like you?

  Bob : I don't know. Chernobyl?

• Walt : Times up Casanever. Can I join you for a drink?

  Bar Hottie : Sure.

  Walt : Okay, what's your name?

  Bar Hottie : Debbie.

  [they shake hands] 

  Walt : Hi I'm Walt Tenor.

  Bar Hottie : Nice to meet you.

  Walt : Nice to meet you!

• Walt : She's got mace.

• [Walt and Bob are considering separation] 

  Walt : Think about it. You'll be able to read a book alone, play golf by yourself,

  [whispering] 

  Walt : masturbate in private like the good Lord intended.

  Bob : What are you talking about?

  Walt : Oh, please, last night it was like trying to sleep next to a paint-shaker.

• Walt : Are you kidding? You could win an humanitarian award for how nice you were to us.

  Cher : Aww... no. Well, really, is there talk of me getting one?

  Walt : No, no, it's just a figure of speech.

• Morty O'Reilly : If you do this, you're committing career suicide.

  Walt : That's what they said when Erik Estrada quit "CHiPS".

  Morty O'Reilly : You're shitting me. He quit?

• Walt : Boozing with Cher... boozing with Cher...