Space Quest 6: Roger Wilco in the Spinal Frontier (1995 Video Game)

Gary Owens: Narrator

Quotes 

• Narrator : Ah, an arcade. You haven't been in an arcade in at least a sequel or two. How cute. It has a really big replica of a coin slot!

• Narrator : It's last year's hot arcade punch-em-up. More Dull Kombat 2.

• Narrator : An overhead screen advertises a new kiddy-level arcade game in which you walk around Calcutta trying to match the right body part with the leper who lost it. Ha ha ha. It's called, Mixed-Up Mother Teresa.

• Narrator : There Lava Screens from Magmetheus show soothing visuals while playing hot TechnoLava tunes... like, What's Lava Got to Do With It, You Always Hurt the One You Lava and Just Let Your Lava Flow.

• Narrator : In this game, you have to play basketball in a three-piece suit, barefoot, while avoiding deadly athlete's foot fungus growing on the court. It's called MBA Toejam.

• Narrator : It's hard to see with this big oaf in front of it, but this looks like the hot new game Beat the Crap Out of Urkel.

  Narrator : It replaces last year's smash game, Beat the Crap out of the Encyclopedia Britannica Kid. You know, the one that keeps saying, Ouch, you broke my mandibula!

• Narrator : This little purple being is kicking fanny on this game. He's built up an audience.

• Narrator : This arcade. known to the locals as Dismembers Only, is filled with lowlifes, druggies and juvenile deliquents from all over the galaxy. And those are just the employees!

• Narrator : This humongous, expensive game is an all-time favorite. You have to duplicate famous gourmet dishes while piloting vintage combat aircraft against the Nazi Menace. It's called, Secret Recipes of the Luftwaffe.

• Narrator : [If you discover the hidden Easter Egg at 8-Rear on the screen by control and mouse click a bunch of times the secret credits shows up]  Thank you for purchasing Space Quest 6. You did purchase it, didn't you? Oh, of course you did. You sure couldn't be like one of those weasels who would make illegal copies. You're too cool for that.

  Roger Wilco : [the secret credits play until it gets to the end of the credits]  Cause I'm Roger Wilco, I'll kick your ass! I know where you live!

• Narrator : Meanwhile, in a deserted warehouse just outside the galaxy...

  [Then Sharpeis spaceship on an asteroid in a video clip before showing inside her spaceship, the shadow of Sharpei only showing her hands] 

  Sharpei : I don't care how you do it, gentlemen... so long as his body is intact. Do you understand.

  Singnet Flembuckit , Nigel Rancid : Oh, yes, we've got it, yes, yes, we've got it, oh, yes, right!

  Sharpei : [Then a 3D hologram map of Planet Polysorbate LX shows up above the desk]  Good. Now. I believe you'll find him here... on Polysorbate LX... on shore leave.

• Roger Wilco : OK. I'm ready. Energize!

  [Then the robot worker teleports Rogers body but it malfunctions and the robot bangs the controls and Roger is teleported with his legs stuck in the streets and half of his body above the streets] 

  Narrator : As we join our hero, Roger Wilco, he has just been transported to the surface of Polysorbate LX to enjoy a little shore leave. Apparently. there was a minor glitch in the process. Well, at least you got here with all your important parts, your hands, your mouth, and your stomach.

  Roger Wilco : Oh, great. Real wonderful! Nice beam job, you metallic piece of scrap. Geez, this is snug. Real snug. Hmmm. You know, it actually this makes me feels kind of good. I remember when I used to wear my mom's... er, well, never mind, This is no time for nostalgia, I've got a serious extraction problem to work out first.

• Narrator : Upon grabbing the ID card, you notice the picture on it is of a rather homely-looking alien type. Guess everyone can't be as fortunate as you.

• Narrator : [If the player clicks the buckazoid icon on the photo booth and Roger walks inside it]  You pop a coin in the slot and climb on in.

  Roger Wilco : All right! I'm looking pretty good. Fire away.

  [Then the photo booth takes many pictures of Roger Wilco. Roger walks out and the alien creature walks in the photo booth] 

  Roger Wilco : There's got to be an optics problem with that machine. I look, uh, partially digested.

  [the photo booth turns out to be a carnivore monster that eats up the alien and crawls away] 

  Narrator : Good thing you didn't opt for that second set of prints after all. Guess that guy won't be filing any complaints with the Portable Business Association.