Quotes

Fender: Oh, it used to be a lot worse. They used to have this giant hammer...

[Rodney screams]

Fender: Hey, they brought it back!

Rodney Copperbottom: This is our moment to shine, to show them what we're made of.

Fender: In my case it's a rare metal called afraidium. It's yellow, tastes like chicken... Buck-ah!

[lays an egg]

Fender: Whoa! Didn't know I could do that!

Piper: Did I miss the butt wuppin'?

Piper, Crank, Fender, Rodney Copperbottom, Lug, Cappy: [surrounded by menacing machines, everyone freeze, staring and then move again] No.

Crank: Actually, you're a little early.

Fender: Hey, guys! The sweepers! They're rounding up all the outmodes! Not them, us! And you'll never guess who's behind it all!

Rodney Copperbottom: Ratchet.

Fender: Go on, guess. Come on, I ran all this way in cha-cha heels! Go ahead, take a stab!

Rodney Copperbottom: Ratchet!

Fender: Ratchet!

Fender: [Lug is holding his head] Why, I'd, I'd smack you if I had a hand.

[his body comes bouncing off buildings]

Fender: Wow, speak of the devil... here I come.

[the body falls on the floor]

Fender: Owww! Daddy!

Fender: You consider me a friend?

Rodney Copperbottom: Sure. What else would I consider you?

Fender: I don't know. An embarrassment? A way to rebel against your parents? A desperate cry for help? The list is endless.

Fender: Oh, no!

Rodney Copperbottom: What?

Fender: We're going off the track! We're going to crash! I don't want to die!

[the sphere they are riding free falls and both scream; then the sphere lands in a catapult]

Fender: [laughing] I was just kidding! Put your head between your legs.

Fender: If I seem to be getting smaller, it's because... I'm leaving!

[runs away with Rodney's foot]

Fender: [as his body is banging his head on the hardware store counter] I'm hurting me!

Ratchet: Take him for a drive. And bring me back his exact weight in paperclips!

Rodney Copperbottom: [as the dominoes are falling in Bigweld's workshop] This is more elaborate than the TV show.

Cappy: Are you all right, sir?

Bigweld: Considering I'm an old fat guy who just fell onto the floor, I'm *fantastic*!

Piper: I have a sister!

[Fender looks round after being at the chop shop]

Piper: [gasps] An ugly sister!

Ratchet: [after he's hit Bigweld over the head with the telephone] I'm as crazy as my mother!

Rodney Copperbottom: When was the last time you got oiled?

Fender: Yeah, I can't really answer that in front of my kid sister.

Aunt Fanny: [pushes Rodney into wall with large backside] Where's your friend, dear?

Fender: He's been rear-ended.

Mrs. Copperbottom: I told you I'd find him! It's a mother's instinct.

Herb Copperbottom: What instinct? He left us a note, "I'm leaving, I'll be at the train station."

Crank: Never try, never fail. Those are the words I live by.

Piper: Fender, get out of my room!

Fender: I'm not in your room. I am now. Now, I'm not. Am. Not. Am. Not...

Piper: [sternly] Get out of my room!

Mr. Gasket: So long, son. Good luck with your dastardly plans.

Madame Gasket: Who are these losers?

Fender: We, sir...

Madame Gasket: I'm a woman.

Crank: Ouch.

Fender: [Scottish accent] We've come to rescue our friend, you evil bag of bolts, and you shall be defeated by the very outmodes that you scorn and detest!

Crank: 'Cause there's seven of us and only one of...

[hundreds of minions appear from behind Madame Gasket]

Fender: Let's see, there's seven of us and... eight? Nine?

Crank: Did you count that one?

Fender: I think so. Will you all quit moving around? It's so frustrating! I think I counted one of you twice!

Lug: I can never find pieces in my size.

Rodney Copperbottom: But I don't want my picture taken.

Fender: You don't?

Rodney Copperbottom: No.

Fender: That's okay, there's no film in the camera.

[Herb has just been running through the town, yelling "I'm going to be a dad!" and runs into his house, where Mrs. Copperbottom is standing next to a window]

Mrs. Copperbottom: Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. You missed the delivery.

Herb Copperbottom: Oh!

Mrs. Copperbottom: [holds up a box with a picture of a robot on it] But it's okay. Making the baby's the fun part.

Aunt Fanny: And what's your name?

Rodney Copperbottom: [is mesmerized by her large derriere] I'm Rodney Bigbottom.

[beat]

Rodney Copperbottom: No, I mean - I'm Rodney Copperbottom! Copperbottom.

Fender: We've told you a hundred times...

[Talks with his hand]

Fender: Don't talk to strange men. Thank you, Manuel.

Piper: I talk to you. Who's stranger than that?

Bigweld: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

Fender: Inside of you, there's a fashion model just waiting to throw up.

[after they have assembled Rodney]

Mrs. Copperbottom: Honey?

Mr. Copperbottom: What?

Mrs. Copperbottom: What's that extra piece?

Mr. Copperbottom: Oh. Oh, no, they always put in an extra...

[Takes a good look at the piece]

Mr. Copperbottom: [chuckles] We did want a boy, right?

[He takes the piece and a hammer]

Mr. Copperbottom: This won't hurt a bit, son.

[He hammers the piece in, Rodney cries]

Fender: I know that sounds bad, but I'm just doing musical arm farts. You know how to do those? They're hard to do because we're made of metal, but that's where the skill comes in.

Piper: [about Aunt Fanny] She's a little artsy-fartsy. The artsy's okay, but once she gets fartsy...

Tim the Gate Guard: [Rodney and Fender are flambouyantly dressed and trying to get into the Bigweld Ball by getting past Tim the Gate Guard] Uh, can I help you?

Fender: I think-a maybe you can. This is the Count Roderick von Broken Zipper. Formerly, Count Velkro! Where are the trumpets? We were promised trumpets to announce the Count's arrival. Beat me until you are happy.

[Rodney slaps him]

Fender: He's happy. And I'm not feeling to bad myself.

Tim the Gate Guard: Uh, you're not on the list.

Fender: What? Once again.

[Rodney slaps him again]

Fender: Fine! We will go! You will explain to your superiors why were not able to attend your little luau! But we are leaving in a huff!

Tim the Gate Guard: No, no! Go right in! In fact, would the Count like to hit me?

Fender: The Count hit you? The arrogance of some people. I shall hit you on his behalf.

[Hits Tim, knocking him to the ground]

Tim the Gate Guard: Thank you, your grace!

Crank: [Mr. Copperbottom is playing badly] Well there goes our happy ending.

Fender: Yo, it's a fusion of jazz and funk. It's called junk.

Rodney Copperbottom: Why do you have two noses?

Fender: One's for showin', one's for blowin'.

Bigweld: You can shine no matter what you're made of.

Tim the Gate Guard: Can I help you?

Fender: [Spanish accent] I think maybe you can. This is Count Roderick von Brokenzipper. Formerly known as Count Velcro. Where are the trumpets? We were promised trumpets to announce the Count's arrival. So sorry, your Grace. Beat me until you're happy.

[Rodney smacks him]

Fender: He's happy, and I'm not feeling too bad myself.

Aunt Fanny: [on Cappy] I used to have a figure like that.

Rodney Copperbottom: Hey Fender.

[Rodney does arm farts]

Fender: Yeah Baby, let 'er rip!

[Rodney and Fender are doing arm farts]

Crank: What are you guys, 3 years old? This is how a man does it.

[Crank does arm farts]

Piper: You guys are SO gross! Besides, this is how you do it.

[Piper does arm farts]

Aunt Fanny: Hey kids, get a load of this...

[does BIG farts; Everyone is grossed out]

Piper: Aunt Fanny, we were using our arms!

Crank: Ugh, light a match!

Lamppost: Lady... please... see a doctor...

Lamppost: [the lamppost passes out]

Bigweld: This isn't what I was thinking at all!

Bigweld: Kid, if you're going to fight, I'm going in with you.

Rodney Copperbottom: You... you are?

Bigweld: Hey, who's the dame with the sweet keister?

Rodney Copperbottom: But why?

Bigweld: I don't know. I'm a big guy, and I like women with a large...

Rodney Copperbottom: No, no. Why are you going to help us?

Bigweld: Oh. Because, I want to grow up to be like you.

Piper: By the way, the name's Piper. Rhymes with viper. Hiss!

Fender: His father's got one foot in the junkyard, and if they can't find new parts for him, he's only got a few miles left.

Ratchet: Why be you when you can be new?

Broken Arm Bot: Hey, could you look at my arm?

[the arm comes off in Rodney's hand]

Rodney Copperbottom: Uh, nice grip.

Broken Arm Bot: Like iron!

Lug: Ahhh... that new upgrade smell...

Fender: [Fender's head has just detatched from his body] Happy now!

Rodney Copperbottom: Not until you give me back my foot, you mugger!

Fender: I am not a mugger! I happen to beeeeeeeeee...

[Fender's head falls over]

Fender: ...a scrounger!

Fender: [hears Rodney's signal] Oh, my darling! That is the call of the deep doo-doo bird. I must fly!

Rodney Copperbottom: So, what are you guys doing today?

Fender: We're doing it.

Piper: What about you?

Rodney Copperbottom: Mr. Bigweld is missing and you're all just going to sit around and do nothing?

Fender: I think that's already been established.

Loretta Geargrinder: Until tomorrow.

Fender: I'll be counting the seconds. So far I'm up to four.

Fender: You know Rodney, even if you know you had an disgorging day remember. There is another one coming tomorrow! You know my last roommate jumped out that window.

Bigweld: [after surfing dominoes] Who's the king of the beach?

Bigweld: See a need, fill a need.