The Squid and the Whale (2005)

Laura Linney: Joan Berkman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bernard Berkman : How do you know they were both Frank's?

  Ms. Lemon : Well, I suppose it's possible other kids are masturbating and spreading their semen around the school as well... It's possible, but, uh, somewhat unlikely.

  Bernard Berkman : Oh, it happens, I'm sure, much more than we know.

  Joan Berkman : Bernard, have you ever done anything like this?

  Bernard Berkman : I'm not going to answer that.

• Joan Berkman : You're living with a twenty-year-old.

  Bernard Berkman : It's none of your business, Joan.

  Joan Berkman : It's my business when you have our kids! It's confusing for them. Frank says Walt's in love with her.

  Bernard Berkman : Walt has a girlfriend. Fuck off, Joan. I don't ask about you and Ivan. Stay out of my life. I can't believe you'd talk to me like this. You left all those fucking ticket stubs and letters lying around! You wanted me to know. It was fucking torture, Joan! FUCKING TORTURE!

• Bernard Berkman : Joan, let me ask you something. All that work I did at the end of our marriage, making dinners, cleaning up, being more attentive. It never was going to make a difference, was it? You were leaving no matter what...

  Joan Berkman : You never made a dinner.

  Bernard Berkman : I made burgers that time you had pneumonia.

• Joan Berkman : You're being a shit, Walt!

• Joan Berkman : I'd appreciate it if you didn't... tell him about things like Richard.

  Bernard Berkman : My father told me you called him.

  Joan Berkman : I did, yeah.

  Bernard Berkman : He said you, uh... he said you were upset.

  Joan Berkman : Yeah. I wanted to... I like him. You know that. I just wanted to say - I don't know. I just wanted to say hello.

  Bernard Berkman : He called me right after. He said, "Bernie, I think you can save your marriage." I told him... I didn't think there was anything else I could do. I did try everything.

  [Walks away] 

  Joan Berkman : Bye, Bernard.

• Bernard Berkman : [Waiting to be taken away in an ambulance after having a heart attack]  Degolas.

  Joan Berkman : What?

  Bernard Berkman : It means "bitch." Don't you remember?

  Joan Berkman : You're calling me a bitch?

  Bernard Berkman : No, don't you remember the last line of Godard's "A Bout De Souffle"? Belmondo calls Seberg a bitch. "Degolas." We saw it at the Thalia with the Dicksteins. I got you in for the children's price. You were pregnant with Walt.

  Joan Berkman : Like six weeks.

  Bernard Berkman : I still got you in for a children's ticket. You told me you didn't like Godard. You thought the jump-cuts were -

  [He is loaded into the ambulance] 

  Bernard Berkman : I'd check for the cat behind the ashcans, under the Golodners' stoop!

  Joan Berkman : OK.

• Joan Berkman : You're early.

  Bernard Berkman : Hi, Joan.

  Joan Berkman : Don't feed him the generic stuff.

  Bernard Berkman : What?

  Joan Berkman : Frank says you're feeding the cat generic food. Get Purina, it's what he likes.

  Bernard Berkman : It's the same damn thing, Joan.

  Joan Berkman : OK. It's not, but...

  Bernard Berkman : He's my cat, too. Remember when he got stuck in the wall in New Hampshire and I rescued him? I know how to handle him.

  Joan Berkman : It was a radiator.

  Bernard Berkman : What?

  Joan Berkman : He got stuck in a radiator. You trimmed your beard.

  Bernard Berkman : Yeah, it was starting to get a little feral. You look well.

  Joan Berkman : Yeah? Thanks.

  Bernard Berkman : Things are good here. Teaching is going well. And I'm playing the best tennis of my life. Maybe that's an illusion, but... it feels that way.

• Bernard Berkman : Your mum and I, we're going to separate. I've got you tuesday, wednesday and every other thursday.

  Walt Berkman : And what about the cat?

  Joan Berkman : The cat!

  Bernard Berkman : We didn't discuss the cat.

• Joan Berkman : You're calling me a bitch?

• Walt Berkman : I shouldn't have broken up with Sophie.

  Joan Berkman : Why did you?

  Walt Berkman : I thought I could do better.

  Joan Berkman : Better how?

  Walt Berkman : I don't know.