The Honeymooners (2005)

Gabrielle Union: Alice Kramden

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ralph Kramden : Trixie makes Ed French toast.

  Alice Kramden : That's because Ed is not on Trimspa.

  Ralph Kramden : Oh! You got jokes. You just a regular UPN sitcom. Huh, Alice?

• Alice Kramden : You are certifiable, you know that? You ought to have your head examined!

  Ralph Kramden : I'll have my head examined anywhere in the United States, and you know what they're gonna find when they look in there? Nothing!

  [Realizing what he said] 

  Ralph Kramden : Uh...

• Alice Kramden : Hi, how can I help you today?

  William Davis : Yes, uh, Alice, I would like an egg-white omelette, and if I could get a clean glass of water.

  Alice Kramden : Well, precious, we don't separate our eggs here and that's about as clean as it's gonna get.

  William Davis : Well, what do you have that's similar to an egg-white omelette?

  Alice Kramden : Eggs.

  William Davis : Well then, by all means why don't you just bring me whatever's convenient for you?

  Trixie Norton : Do I need to take off my heels?

  Alice Kramden : No, no. Not yet.

  William Davis : I've angered you, I'm sorry. It happens a lot.

  Alice Kramden : Oh, hi, Miss Benvenuti. How are you?

  Miss Benvenuti : I'm fine. Hi, Trixie.

  William Davis : Ah, Miss Benvenuti, what a pleasure. Please.

  [gestures for her to sit] 

  Miss Benvenuti : If you'd just buy my house, that will be pleasure enough.

  Alice Kramden : Oh, Miss Benvenuti, you're selling that cute little duplex over on Hart Street?

  Miss Benvenuti : Yes, I can't take the winters anymore. Mr. Davis here and his company are thinking of buying the house.

  William Davis : Yes, we are. So if you girls could just go and cook something...

  Trixie Norton : Ignoring you!

  Alice Kramden : Yeah, I wish we would've known because we've been looking to buy a duplex for years.

  William Davis : Well, I'm sorry, but my company's already buying this one.

  Trixie Norton : Yes, well, we're not a company or anything, but we would like a nice place to move into with our husbands, have a few little babies, a little Trixie.

  Alice Kramden : But everything's so expensive nowadays!

  William Davis : Yes, it is. Kinda wishing you hadn't dropped out of high school right about now, huh?

  Alice Kramden : *Still* ignoring you! So, Miss Benvenuti, how much are you asking for the duplex?