The 76th Annual Academy Awards (2004 TV Special)
Billy Crystal: Self - Host
Quotes
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Billy Crystal : I voted for 'Seabiscuit' (for Best Costume Design). That's the most realistic horse costume I've ever seen.
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Billy Crystal : It was 13 years ago when I first hosted the Academy Awards, and things sure have changed since then. George Bush was President, the economy was tanking, and we had just finished a war with Iraq. Yeah, things really have changed.
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Billy Crystal : All of the hobbits' wardrobe is now for sale at The House of DeVito, if anyone is interested.
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Billy Crystal : It's now official. There is no one left to thank in New Zealand.
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Billy Crystal : Do you know that people are now moving to New Zealand just to be thanked?
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Billy Crystal : ...and when I say funny, I mean threatening to my career.
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Billy Crystal : Good news, they found Nemo. The bad news is, they found him in one of Wolfgang Puck's puff pastries.
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Billy Crystal : The Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.
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Billy Crystal : Now that everyone in New Zealand has been thanked, I'd like to thank everyone on Long Island.
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Billy Crystal : And there's Johnny Depp, the sexiest man alive. Did I just say that out loud? You know Johnny's nominated for playing Jack Valenti's worst nightmare - a slightly gay pirate.
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Gandalf the White : All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you.
Billy Crystal : And this from a guy in a nine-hour movie.
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Billy Crystal : Our next presenter (Charlize Theron) is nominated for her role of a hiking, serial killing prostitute. Great, just what we need.
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Billy Crystal : ["reading" Sean Connery's mind] Pussy Galore? I just got it! That's vulgar!
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Billy Crystal : [reading Julia Roberts' Mind] Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Hate me because I'm rich.
Billy Crystal : [reading Oprah Winfrey's Mind] You wanna talk about rich honey?
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Billy Crystal : [Reading Sean Penn's Mind] This is a nice place, I don't think I've ever been thrown out of here...
