The Three Stooges (2012)
Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino: The Situation
Quotes
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Ronnie : What are you, crazy? That's assault!
Moe : Heres your pepper. Shut up.
[Moe slaps him]
The Situation : My man!
Ronnie : Who asked ya, muscle-head?
[Moe pokes him in the head]
JWoww : Moe! You can't just go around hitting people.
Moe : No? Well, can I do this?
[Moe plucks out her nose hair]
Moe : Hmm, rare bouquet.
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[Foster the People's "Waste" plays throughout the montage; Larry and Curly watch Moe on "Jersey Shore" on a TV in an electronics store window]
Moe : [on "Jersey Shore"] Is that what you think? Shut up!
[Moe slaps Ronnie]
The Situation : Hey, yo!
[Moe slaps The Situation]
Moe : You, too! Here's another one!
[Moe slaps Ronnie]
Moe : [Moe sits down next to Snooki, who is reading a book] Hiya, Snook, I got you a present.
Snooki : Really? For me?
Moe : Yeah, go on, open it.
Snooki : [Snooki opens the box, and then Moe delivers a finger poke to her eyes when she discovers the box is empty] Ow!
Moe : [Moe laughs, with Curly and Larry chuckling at Moe's antics; the scene changes to Larry and Curly sleeping in a dumpster, with Curly dreaming about dancing around in a field of bubbles with Moe and Larry; the scene shifts back to Moe on the set of "Jersey Shore"] Why, you...!
Moe : [Moe slaps the side of Ronnie's face and his forehead, then he slaps The Situation's face] There you go!
Moe : [the "Jersey Shore" producers watch with delight, as Larry and Curly laugh at Moe's antics; Moe waves his hand up and down in front of JWoww's face] Why, you...
[Moe lowers his hand to the table, and quickly waves his hand up and down in JWoww's face, making a rhythmic bonking sound; Larry and Curly continue to watch Moe]
Moe : [Moe holds his fist in front of Ronnie; he hits Moe's fist, which curves upward and hits Ronnie on the head] You see that?
The Situation : [Ronnie tries to imitate Moe, only for Moe to knock Ronnie's fist back into his own face] You see that?
Moe : [Moe breaks a pool cue stick on The Situation] Business!
The Situation : Oh!
JWoww : [Moe laughs while he holds a hot curling iron on JWoww's tongue] Umph! Umph!
Moe : [Moe hits The Situation on the nose, then slaps him on the chin] Why, you...!
Moe : [Larry and Curly continue laughing at Moe's antics as Moe breaks a microwave oven over Ronnie's head, and sets the timer; Ronnie's eyes bulge out of their sockets as the electricity flows] Why, you...!
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Sammi : Now look: either you kick Moe off the show, or we're suing him!
Snooki : Like, with a lawyer!
Moe's Hip Executive : Court sounds okay to me.
Moe's Hip Executive : [to his assistant] You know, we could probably do a cross-promotion with Lockup.
Snooki : Great, just great. So basically, what you're saying is this whole show is about the ratings?
Moe's Hip Executive : Uh, yeah.
Ronnie , The Situation : Ohhh!
[Ronnie, The Situation and the other cast members groan in annoyance]
Sammi : Unbelievable.
Moe : [pointing to Snooki's "Guinness" hat] Look, just 'cause she's wearing a "genius" hat, doesn't mean she is one.
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Ronnie : How's that Whynatte?
The Situation : This is, like, my fourth or fifth.
Sammi : What happened last night?
The Situation : What kind of flavor? I like coffee, too.
Moe : Hey, I'm heading out to 7-Eleven, anyone up for some gummy worms?
JWoww : Yeah, maybe if they were soaked in vodka. By the way, why are you even on our show? You look like a stretched-out meatball.
The Situation : [laughter] Did not Moe tell you that he's using our little program as a launching pad to make a lot of paper to save homeless orphan babies?
Ronnie : Good luck, this guy can't even buy the right kind of grated cheese. I asked for Romano, not Parmesan, you mook.
Moe : Oh, you don't like that cheese.
Ronnie : No.
Moe : Well, let's see what we can do about that.
[Moe picks up the cheese grater]
Ronnie : What are you doing?
Teddy : [watching "Jersey Shore" from his bedroom with Lydia] Oh boy, here we go.
Moe : [Moe rubs the cheese grater on Ronnie's foot] How about some aged cheddar, tough guy? Come on!
Ronnie : Ow! What, are you crazy? That's assault!
Moe : Here's your pepper. Shut up!
[Moe slaps Ronnie]
The Situation : My man!
Moe : Who asked you, muscle-head!
[Moe quickly finger-pokes The Situation's eyes]
Sammi : Moe, you just can't go around hitting people!
Moe : Oh, no? Well, can I do this?
[Moe plucks Sammi's nasal hairs out of her nostril]
Sammi : Hmm, rare bouquet.
JWoww : Are you kidding me? Who does this?
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Ronnie : How's that Whynatte?
The Situation : This is, like, my fourth or fifth.
Sammi : What happened last night?
The Situation : What kind of flavor? I like coffee, too.
Moe : Hey, I'm heading out to 7-Eleven, anyone up for some gummy worms?
JWoww : Yeah, maybe if they were soaked in vodka. By the way, why are you even on our show? You look like a stretched-out meatball.
[laughter]
The Situation : Did not Moe tell you that he's using our little program as a launching pad to make a lot of paper to save homeless orphan babies?
Ronnie : Good luck, this guy can't even buy the right kind of grated cheese. I asked for Romano, not Parmesan, you mook.
Moe : Oh, you don't like that cheese.
Ronnie : No.
Moe : Well, let's see what we can do about that.
[Moe picks up the cheese grater]
Ronnie : What are you doing?
Teddy : [watching "Jersey Shore" from his bedroom with Lydia] Oh boy, here we go.
Moe : [Moe rubs the cheese grater on Ronnie's foot] How about some aged cheddar, tough guy? Come on!
Ronnie : Ow! What, are you crazy? That's assault!
Moe : Here's your pepper, shut up!
[Moe slaps Ronnie]
The Situation : My man!
Moe : [Moe finger-pokes The Situation in the eyes] Who asked you, muscle-head!
Sammi : Moe, you just can't go around hitting people!
Moe : Oh, no? Well, can I do this?
[Moe plucks Sammi's nasal hairs out of her nostril]
Sammi : Ow!
Moe : Hmm, rare bouquet.
JWoww : Are you kidding me? Who does this?
