- Wilbur: You see, the right woman will always make you feel like a good man. It's not magic, but it feels that way.
- Jeff Sweeney: You need to find yourself a decent boy.
- Eve Stuckley: Define decent.
- Jeff Sweeney: I don't know. But a boy at least.
- Eve Stuckley: You're a boy.
- Jeff Sweeney: Yeah, I'm a boy. And half-way decent, too. At least sometimes I feel like I am.
- Eve Stuckley: Yeah, I guess you are when you are not talking about all that comic book stuff.
- Jeff Sweeney: The truth is I've always felt decent when I'm with you.
- Eve Stuckley: That's what Linda says, too.
- Jeff Sweeney: Evie, what's gonna happen with you and Linda?
- Eve Stuckley: What do you think is gonna happen with me and Linda?
- Jeff Sweeney: I don't know.
- Eve Stuckley: I don't know either. But she's wonderful and I'm flattered, very flattered. See, for the first time in my life, somebody beautiful, that everybody wants, wants me. ME.
- Jeff Sweeney: Well, you're... you're a nice girl.
- Eve Stuckley: Nice... Nice isn't enough.
- Jeff Sweeney: Enough for what?
- Eve Stuckley: Well, you, for one.
- Eve Stuckley: You know, I always knew that I didn't have everything that you wanted, but I thought that I just might have everything that you needed.
- Eve Stuckley: I mean, do you think anyone is ever gonna love me? Cause I'm fat.
- Chuck Stuckley: Hey, when it comes to love, you don't weigh and you don't measure, okay?