Entourage (2004–2011)

Kevin Connolly: Eric Murphy

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Quotes 

• Turtle : This is where you should be living, Vince. In a kingdom, like a prince.

  Eric : Don't you mean in a kingdom like a king, you idiot?

  Vince : Nah, E. Everyone wants to kill the king. But the prince, he just sails along telling all the ladies, "One day I'm gonna be king."

• Eric : We had breakup-sex, all right?

  Johnny Drama : Breakup-sex? Never heard of it.

  Eric : Yeah, I mean... you know... you have sex and... that's it - you say goodbye.

  Johnny Drama : [pauses to think]  That's the only kinda sex I have.

• Ari Gold : From now on, ask my permission before you bang one of my assistants.

  Eric : How'd you know that?

  Ari Gold : 'Cause I know all, and I could have told you that this would end badly. Now I gotta fire her so you don't feel weird.

  Eric : No. Don't fire her.

  Ari Gold : All right. Well, I'll just sexually harass her until she quits.

• Turtle : [looking towards the Pacific Ocean]  What direction is that?

  Johnny Drama : That's east, you idiot.

  Eric : It's west, idiot.

  [long pause] 

  Johnny Drama : Well... I mean, in NY it's east.

• Ari Gold : I thought you already were his manager, because believe me, I would not put up with this much shit from anyone who wasn't.

  Eric : Yeah, I know I am, but I want to do it for real, you know? I want to have the conversation, lock it in.

  Ari Gold : So you come to me for advice. I'm gonna fucking cry. All right, here's what you do. You deal with talent the same way that you deal with women. You have to make them believe that they need you more then you need them.

  Eric : He doesn't need me that much.

  Ari Gold : Of course he doesn't need you. You're fucking worthless. I could get a million morons to come in here and do the job. That's not the point.

  Eric : Then what is the point, Ari?

  Ari Gold : The point is that he is an insecure fuck, like all beautiful-but-handed-everything-on-a-silver-platter people. He doesn't trust anyone in this world but you. You've been born into royalty, baby. You know it. Now you just gotta be thankful and wear the crown.

• Ari Gold : [answering "emergency" phone call from Eric]  There better be a SCUD missile headed towards L.A, Eric.

  Eric : No, Ari, it's a fucking iceberg.

  Ari Gold : What are you talking about?

  Eric : James Cameron's directing Aquaman.

  Ari Gold : Bullshit. Where'd you hear that, Friendster?

  Eric : Josh Weinstein, asshole. Now, why don't you get your hand off your dick and go call somebody.

• Ari Gold : [Ari doesn't want Vince to do Queens Blvd]  You know what they feed people on an indi set, Vinne? Nothing! They don't give you a trailer. They tell you to go sit on an apple box. Ever try to bang an extra on an apple box?

  Eric : Well, if anybody could do it, Vince could.

  Vince : I do have great balance.

• Vince : Johnny Depp's got the kind of career I want.

  Eric : Johhny Depp did "Pirates of the Caribbean". And if I'm not mistaken, he wore a swashbuckling costume and carried a sword.

  Turtle : Yeah, but he already dresses like that in real life, though.

• Eric : We gotta get Cameron to see "Queens Boulevard."

  Ari Gold : You haven't even seen it yet!

  Eric : I saw the scenes that Vince looped today. They looked amazing.

  Ari Gold : Great. So you want me to get the biggest director in the game to see some low-budget indie flick that you think is amazing based on some out-of-context scenes from a looping stage.