- Jason Argyle: You know, you're just like your cousin. She ruins the family name, forces you here to California to flee her rep, and yet... she's still your role model. If you want to be Kathryn that badly at least let me be your Sebastian.
- Cassidy Merteuil: Kathryn. Sebastian. Where are they now? Oh, yeah. She's currently at a methadone clinic, and he's dead.
- Jason Argyle: We can do better.
- Cassidy Merteuil: Jason, the real reason I've never slept with you: you're no challenge whatsoever. Not to mention a little deficient when it comes to...
- Jason Argyle: What?
- Cassidy Merteuil: The sexiest organ of all. You know, the bigger the better. The brain.
- [Patrick gets arrested after Cassidy seduces him and then charges him with rape]
- Patrick Bales: You're a fucking bitch! Nobody will believe you.
- Cassidy Merteuil: You're right about the first thing.
- Jason Argyle: Fine. Here's the bet: I steal Sheila from Michael, you steal Alison from her fiance.
- Patrick Bales: First one to cross home plate wins our dorm room.
- Jason Argyle: The loser?
- Patrick Bales: Fends for himself.
- Jason Argyle: I could use some privacy. I'm gonna get started.
- Patrick Bales: Happy hunting.
- [last lines]
- Jason Argyle: What about us?
- Cassidy Merteuil: The only problem fucking with someone as twisted as you... is that you're fucking with someone as twisted as you. I knew you'd understand.
- Alison Lebray: What's your Brent Patterson fantasy?
- Valeria Caldas: Cop.
- Alison Lebray: Personal trainer.
- Jason Argyle: I have had my eye on her.
- Patrick Bales: Cassidy?
- Jason Argyle: I do love her, but no. Sheila. She's devoted to... Michael.
- Patrick Bales: I hadn't noticed.
- Jason Argyle: Someone that sexy has no right to be faithful to such an idiot.
- Patrick Bales: Or to anyone. I don't know if I'd pick Sheila though.
- Jason Argyle: Why not?
- Patrick Bales: Because I like Alison.
- Jason Argyle: You just said that you were gonna leave her alone until...
- Patrick Bales: Until you're married. You're not married. Besides, Alison's perfect. Virtuous and loyal. She'd gasp at all the right moments.
- Jason Argyle: Why do you always fuck guys like him when you could be fucking with guys like me?
- Cassidy Merteuil: Because guys like you don't dine with the queen.
- Jason Argyle: Dream on. I'm sure he prefers a real princess.
- Cassidy Merteuil: We'll see.
- Cassidy Merteuil: You two are plotting something.
- Patrick Bales: What about it?
- Cassidy Merteuil: I came to tell you it's pathetic.
- Patrick Bales: Why?
- Cassidy Merteuil: Because if you had me, you could have anyone. So, where's the challenge?
- Jason Argyle: You're forgetting I haven't told you yet.
- Patrick Bales: No, you're giving us too much credit.
- Cassidy Merteuil: There's no limit to what two people can do. You taught me that. But it's too easy. So, why don't you quit cooperating and start competing... for some eligible bachelorettes? It's only fair. After all, I can't stand to see you two look bored.