- Jake Martinez: Sometimes it isn't pleasant picking up the trash, but things look better for everyone after it's been done.
- Self - Host: [standing behind a pile of skeletons] We have here all that remains of a television series. It succumbed, not to the indifference of the viewers, but to a passion for reality. Everyone thought the idea would make a very amusing series. A family of cannibals moves into the middle of a typical suburban community. The possibilities were endless. The clash of cultures would produce the laughter and underlying it all would be a subtle social criticism. Actually, the cannibals weren't difficult as actors. They weren't temperamental, just hungry. And considering the food at the commissary, I'm not sure I blame them.