- Will Stockdale: He *is* sick, Ben. I heard Lucky say it. Irving had ROTC. For a whole year he had it!
- Will Stockdale: It's just that the Infantry is the real soldiers, and the Air Force ain't nothin' but helpers.
- Will Stockdale: [to the captain] I spend most of my time in the latrines, because Sgt. King said he never seen a man so interested in latrines as you are. You go in there and look at them faucets. I polished 'em so hard they don't say Hot and Cold no more.
- Major: Georgia? Not much of a state, is it?
- Will Stockdale: Well, I don't live all over the state. I just live in this one little place in it.
- Major: He whipped you frequently?
- Will Stockdale: There can't nobody beat like my pa can.
- Major: You hate him!
- Will Stockdale: No. I got a uncle I hate, though. Every time he comes out to the house he's always wantin' to rassle the mule. And the mule gets all wore out and he gets all wore out. I don't really hate him, though. It's just that I ain't exactly partial to him.
- Major: Did I ask you about your uncle?
- Will Stockdale: I thought you liked to talk about hatin' people.
- Ben Whitledge: Ain't you never heard of the Women's Air Force?
- Will Stockdale: You mean they got one, too?
- Ben Whitledge: Shore they do.
- Will Stockdale: Against our'n?
- [first lines]
- Will Stockdale: [to the audience] Howdy, I'm Will Stockdale. I'm fixin' to tell you some of the things that happened to me in the draft.
- Sergeant King: I joined up for security, gentlemen. And the first man that makes me feel insecure gets his neck broke.
- Will Stockdale: [toasting] To Sgt. King, the best dang sergeant in the whole danged Air Force, dang it.
- Sergeant King: I'm 40 years old. I'm a private. And I'm going to gunnery school. And I'm happy, do you hear me? I'm happy, happy, happy!
- [last lines]
- Will Stockdale: [to the camera] Good night! Good night, pa!
- [runs to catch up with Pvt. King and Ben]
- Will Stockdale: Hey, wait for me, fellas!