Crash Twinsanity (2004 Video Game)

Lex Lang: Dr. Neo Cortex

Quotes 

• Dr. Neo Cortex : Surprised to see me Crash? Like the fleas in your fur I keep coming back! Three years I spent alone in the frozen Antarctic Wastes! And I missed you. So I've arranged a little gathering, like a birthday party only, the exact opposite!

• Uka Uka : Free again! Who has released me?

  Dr. Neo Cortex : Mighty Uka Uka...

  Uka Uka : What! Can it be? Crash and Cortex? I don't know whether to kiss you... or kill you!

  [Crash puckers up] 

• Farmer Ernest : Oh, Crash. The farmer's market is tomorrow, and my wumpa trees won't grow, for my orchard is riddled with greedy worms. If you rid my land of these pests, I'll give you this Power Crystal.

  [Cortex blasts him and takes the crystal] 

  Dr. Neo Cortex : [to player]  I'm an evil scientist; what did you expect? This isn't a game.

• Dingodile : Hey! I heard there were treasure round ere' and I wanna piece o' da dosh!

  Dr. Neo Cortex : I have no idea what you just said.

• Dr. Neo Cortex : I'm an evil scientist!

  Madam Amberley : Ooh! A scientist, Neo! To me, you'll always be a little worm!

• Aku-Aku : [about Cortex]  If we hand him over to the Evil Twins, perhaps they will spare us.

  Dr. Neo Cortex : But they'll kill me!

  Uka Uka : That's a risk I'm willing to take!

• Uka Uka : [about the Evil Twins]  Cortex! Who are these evil upstarts?

  Dr. Neo Cortex : I've ruined the lives of so many... I can't be expected to remember all of them.

  Uka Uka : Such a big head... such a tiny brain.

  Aku-Aku : If we hand him over to the Evil Twins, perhaps they will spare us.

  Dr. Neo Cortex : But they'll kill me!

  Uka Uka : That's a risk I'm willing to take!

• Dr. Neo Cortex : [to Crash]  Meet your new, hydraulically-operated twin brother: Mecha Bandicoot!

  [aside] 

  Dr. Neo Cortex : Now where was I?

  Dr. N. Gin : Dr Cortex, you were magnificent!

  Dr. Neo Cortex : Of course I was you fool!

• Disguised Cortex : [after being hit by a log and falling into a pit]  I'm okay!

  Dr. Neo Cortex : The spikes broke my fall.

• [first lines] 

  Coco Bandicoot : [chasing a butterfly]  I'm gonna get ya! Come here.

  [Cortex, hiding behind a tree, adjusts his blaster gun to a setting appropriate for his plot. He scrolls through a smiley face with hearts over its eyes, a smiley face with bulging eyeballs, a smiley face on fire, and a black skull. He settles on the bulging eyeball smiley and shoots Coco, who falls over, stunned. The butterfly she was previously chasing lands on her nose] 

  Dr. Neo Cortex : [over Coco's body]  Sleep, my insepid angel.

  [Meanwhile, Crash is digging up a hole in the beach when Cortex, disguised as Coco, approaches the beach] 

  Disguised Cortex : Crash! Crash! Where are you big brother! There's something weird going on in the bay! Come see!

• Victor the Evil Twin : Cower you fools before the awesome might of... the Evil Twins!

  Dr. Neo Cortex : Aren't you two adorable? Let me see... I may have some choccy treats for you.

  Moritz the Evil Twin : Oooh! Choccy treats!

• Dr. Neo Cortex : You've got to help me Crash! You heard them, they want to destroy our island home... humiliate and enslave you and steal my brain!

• [Penguin squawks at Cortex, negociating] 

  Dr. Neo Cortex : The cheque bounced? Are you sure? Well, these past few years have been kind of slow. "Wrath of Cortex" didn't go as well as we'd hoped, and...

  [Penguins seethe in anger. To appease them, Cortex quickly presents a...] 

  Dr. Neo Cortex : Fish?

  [Camera alternates between Cortex, the penguins and the fish. Cortex eventually shoots the leader with his laser] 

• [from trailer] 

  Dr. Neo Cortex : Will this suffering never end?

• Dr. Neo Cortex : But be careful what you wish for,

  Young Dr. Cortex : Back off Grampa!

  Dr. Neo Cortex : ...or you're wish will come true...

• Dr. Neo Cortex : Playtime is over! Victor! Moritz! Back in your cage, you naughty birds!

  Victor the Evil Twin : WHAT AM I DOING? Curse my superior interlect. THAT'S IT, CORTEX! You wanna spend time and play with your precious pets? So be it...

• [from trailer] 

  Dr. Neo Cortex : Playtime is over!

• Dr. Neo Cortex : Come, we must begin preparations for...

  [Doorbell rings from a mysterious door] 

  Dr. Neo Cortex : [to Crash]  It's probably for you.

  [Door opens and the Evil Twins return with Aku-Aku and Uka-Uka, using them as common masks] 

  Moritz the Evil Twin : Trick-or-treat, trick-or-treat! Ha ha ha!

  [Twins throw the masks at Crash and Cortex] 

  Victor the Evil Twin : Fools! You thought these two party toys could defeat us? We are masters of the infinite dimensions! With power over reality itself!

  Moritz the Evil Twin : [Interrupts]  And riches beyond imagination!

  Dr. Neo Cortex : [Interested]  Riches?

  Victor the Evil Twin : Riches?

  [Slaps Moritz in the back of the head] 

  Victor the Evil Twin : What's wrong with you? Always bringing up the riches!

  [to Cortex] 

  Victor the Evil Twin : You don't remember us, do you, Doctor?

  Dr. Neo Cortex : Should I?

  Victor the Evil Twin : You ruined our lives! Allow us to return the favor.