Shrek the Third (2007)

Rupert Everett: Prince Charming

Photos 

Quotes 

• Prince Charming : You! You can't lie! So tell me puppet... where... is... Shrek?

  Pinocchio : Uh. Hmm, well, uh, I don't know where he's not

  Prince Charming : You're telling me you don't know where Shrek is?

  Pinocchio : It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume that I couldn't exactly not say that it is or isn't almost partially incorrect.

  Prince Charming : So you do know where he is!

  Pinocchio : On the contrary. I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that in no way with any amount of uncertainty that I undeniably

  Prince Charming : Stop it!

  Pinocchio : ...do or do not know where he shouldn't probably be, if that indeed wasn't where he isn't. Even if he wasn't at where I knew he was

  [Pigs and Gingerbread Man begin singing] 

  Pinocchio : That'd mean I'd really have to know where he wasn't.

• Shrek : [to Charming]  Those are some nice leotards, though

  Prince Charming : Oh, thank you.

  Shrek : Do they have those in men's sizes?

  [audience laughs] 

• Prince Charming : Wicked Witch! The Seven Dwarfs saved Snow White and then what happened?

  Evil Queen : Oh, what's it to you?

  Prince Charming : They left you the unfairest of them all. And now here you are, hustling pool to get your next meal. How does that feel?

  Evil Queen : [feels remorseful]  Pretty unfair.

  Prince Charming : [to Stromboli]  And you! You're star puppet abandons the show to go and find his father.

  Puppet Master : [depressed]  I hate that little wooden puppet.

  Prince Charming : And Hook... need I say more?

  [Hook backs off, feeling insecure about his appendage] 

  Prince Charming : And you! Frumpy-pigskin.

  Rumplestiltskin : Rumplestiltskin.

  Prince Charming : Where's that first-born you were promised?

  [Rumpelstiltskin caresses a pacifier tattoo on his forearm; turns to Mabel] 

  Prince Charming : Mabel, remember how you couldn't get your little fat foot into that tiny glass slipper?

  [Mabel sighs] 

  Prince Charming : Cinderella is in Far Far Away right now, eating bonbons, cavorting with every little last fairy-tale creature that has EVER done you wrong!

  [turns his attention to the villains] 

  Prince Charming : Once upon a time, someone decided that we were the losers. But there are two sides to every story. And our side has not been told. So who will join me? Who wants to come out on top for once? Who wants their happily ever after?

  [the villains cheer rowdily, but then start to have a big brawl in the pub. Charming looks and drinks his Fuzzy Navel] 

• [first lines] 

  Prince Charming : Onward, Chauncey! To the highest room of the tallest tower, where my princess awaits rescue by the handsome Prince Charming!

• Mabel : What do you want, Charming?

  Prince Charming : Oh, not much. Just a chance at redemption... and a fuzzy navel.

• Prince Charming : I am the rightful King of Far Far Away!

• Prince Charming : This was supposed to be *my* Happily Ever After!

  Shrek : Well, I guess you need to keep looking, because I'm not giving up mine.