- The Ramatcal: I am the Ramatcal of the state of Israel.
- Adiso: Hello, sir.
- The Ramatcal: I came to strengthen and came out strengthened.
- Adiso: What?
- Gili Laha Nachmani: Michal, can I call you "Michali"?
- Michal Levinstein: Yes.
- Gili Laha Nachmani: And "Michali the cripple"?
- The Ramatcal: [parodying Memento] Mom, makes great cuscus. Don't believe her lies.
- Warrent Officer Gavriel Shukrun: Now listen up. Tomorrow we've got a surprise inspection by the Head of Logistics, and we're missing a LOT of stuff in the warehouse!
- Corp. Shlomi Hanuka: What? What's missing?
- Warrent Officer Gavriel Shukrun: Let's see... Three crates of staples, five crates of separators, one nuclear missile, and four crates of marker pens.
- Corp. Shlomi Hanuka: Where are we supposed to find marker pens?
- Soldier: [Phone rings at the Tanjakistani Army Headquarters] Hello, Armenian National, errr, Tanjakistan Army... How can I help you?
- Corp. Itay Shulman: Ah, err, yes, yes... I would like a nuclear missile, please.
- Soldier: No problem sir, it is twenty five millioon doollar!
- Corp. Itay Shulman: Twenty-five million doollar? It's a lot of money!
- Soldier: Ok! I give you for... err... Twenty millioon doollar!
- Corp. Itay Shulman: Uhhh... wait a minute...
- Corp. Shlomi Hanuka: Hallo?
- Soldier: Hallo?
- Corp. Shlomi Hanuka: How much you want?
- Soldier: Twenty Millioona!
- Corp. Shlomi Hanuka: I give you five.
- Soldier: [laughing] Hahaha, five millioon?
- [laughing some more]
- Soldier: ... I don't think so! Maybe fifteen?
- Corp. Shlomi Hanuka: No no no no no... I give you five dollars.
- Soldier: What? Are you crazy? Five doollar for a nuclear missile?
- Corp. Shlomi Hanuka: Come on. I know you need the money. I know you have nothing to eat.
- Soldier: Yes. It is true.
- Corp. Shlomi Hanuka: Five dollars.
- Soldier: TEN!
- Corp. Shlomi Hanuka: No.
- Soldier: Ok, ok, ok! I give you for five doollar.
- Corp. Shlomi Hanuka: Send it to Mem-Kuf 22 in Israel.
- Soldier: Ok. It will arrive in about ten minutes.
- Corp. Shlomi Hanuka: Five!
- Soldier: Ok, Ok! Five!
- [hangs up]
- Corp. Shlomi Hanuka: [in fake Russian] Activate missile controls!
- Large sign on the road to Jerusalem: Welcome to Jerusalem! Now four days without suicide bombings!
- Shin-Bet officer: [Upon finding the huge Menora Statue, stolen from Jerusalem, on the lawn in M.K. 22] Shukrun, you do realize that we will have to launch a Military Police Investigation into this?
- Warrent Officer Gavriel Shukrun: Investigation? What for? Let's just punish everybody!
- Gili Lahav Nachmani: [TV Interview about the Supreme Court's decision to allow the handicapped to join Air Force Combat Pilot Training] ... I'm here with Yoav Reim, who was afflicted with brain paralysis and therefore joined the Meretz party. Yoav, were you happy with the court's ruling?
- Crippled Man: [In a wheelchair, drooling and speaking somewhat slurred] Of course, I was very excited.
- Gili Lahav Nachmani: But you didn't fall out of your seat.
- Crippled Man: No, I'm strapped to it. I think the courts have finally achieved justice. From now on, not only the best will be pilots, but everybody.
- Gili Lahav Nachmani: Yoav, you know you have a speech disorder, so if you can please use shorter sentences, because we haven't got all day.
- Crippled Man: Sorry.
- Gili Lahav Nachmani: It's ok. Also here is "Ayin", an Israeli Airforce pilot. Yoav, do you want to say anything to "Ayin"?
- Crippled Man: Yes. How do you know that crippled -
- Gili Lahav Nachmani: - Short sentences!
- Crippled Man: Yes yes, how do you know that crippled people can't be pilots?
- IAF Pilot: [chuckles and sighs] Yoav, Yoav, now how are they going to get on the plane, huh? We'd have to rig some sort of electric device to the roof to lift up the chair!
- Crippled Man: Yes, but "Ayin" -
- IAF Pilot: - It'll cost millions to upgrade all the aircraft!
- Gili Lahav Nachmani: But, don't they deserve a chance?
- IAF Pilot: No.
- Gili Lahav Nachmani: If you had a crippled child, would you speak differently?
- IAF Pilot: Of course.
- Gili Lahav Nachmani: Thank you.
- Abbed Abu Jamal: [Abbed and his sheep are sitting cuddled up around the campfire, telling them a fireside story] ... Once upon a time, there were three brothers, who were wanted and hiding from the Shin-Bet. One was hiding in a straw hut, the second was hiding in a house of wood, and the third was hiding in a house of STONE. One day, the Shin-Bet came with a bulldozer, and destroyed the straw hut. They came to the wooden house, and destroyed it too. And then they came to the house made of concrete... and destroyed it as well! And all three brothers became MARTYRS! All's well that ends well.
- Gili Lahav Nachmani: [after the supreme court has declared that handicapped people may try out for Air Force Combat Pilot training] ... Thousands of handicapped people have begun preparing for flight school try-outs. We have selected just one. Michal Levinstein, a crippled girl, paralysed from the waist down, with one lung, one kidney, and mental retardation.
- Michal Levinstein: I'm not retarded!
- Gili Lahav Nachmani: So what? It's a better story if you are. Michal, do you REALLY believe you'll pass the selection program?
- Michal Levinstein: Of course! I have a motto: There's no "Can't", there's only "Won't"!
- Gili Lahav Nachmani: But in your case, there IS "Can't". Can't stand up. Can't run around. Can't feel this...
- [Gili kicks Levinstein in the shin]
- Michal Levinstein: Owww!
- Gili Lahav Nachmani: Can't swim. Can't dance. Can't go into a room without everyone saying "Ecccch, look at that disgusting cripple... blehhhhh"