Snakes on a Plane (2006)

Gerard Plunkett: Paul

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mercedes Harbont : Why don't we just take a picture?

  Paul : Oh, sure, let's drop it off at Jiffy Photo when we land, Einstein.

  Mercedes Harbont : Ever heard of e-mail, dick-wad?

• Paul : Fucking dog, fucking coach, fucking Americans!

• Paul : [Having just thrown a small dog to be eaten by one of the snakes, much to everyone's disapproval]  You'd have done the exact same thing!

• Claire Miller : I'm sorry but first class is overbooked, but there is plenty of room to stretch out in coach which is only half-full.For the inconvenience we would like to offer you this travel voucher which is good on any date for any South Pacific Airlines flight.

  Paul : Hmm, and this travel voucher won't help get me to my meeting on time, will it?

  Claire Miller : Sir, I'm pretty sure that coach gets to Los Angeles about the same time that first class does.

  Paul : Funny. Does my Senior Reward membership come with your sarcasm, or should I speak with your supervisor... Claire?

  [walks into the plane] 

  Claire Miller : This had better be a matter of national security,

  Mercedes Harbont : Did I just hear right that there's no first class?

  Claire Miller : Yes, only coach.

  Mercedes Harbont : Is it safe back there?

  Tiffany : [after a pause]  Yes, yes, it is totally safe there.

• Paul : Why exactly are there snakes on this plane?

• Paul : [throws the tiny dog to the snake to slow it down, everyone screams as it's eaten]  What? You'd have done exactly the same thing!