- Pilot: Sorry to interrupt our in flight feature, Free Willy 2, but if a flight attendant doesn't get her ass up here soon I'm gonna crash this thing.
- Judge Judy: [talking to the defendant, a clown] Hey, I've got a story for you. It's about the day I killed a clown whore now SHUT UP!
- Cass Van Rye: Can we turn on the AC in here fellas?
- Tom Wilkins: Actually Cass, the station refused to pay the bill because we are the lowest rated show on television.
- Office Worker #2: Adele, you're really bad at innuendo.
- Adele: Yeah, well I want you bad in my end-o.
- Restaurant Manager: [a customer has complained about Nadine] First thing, who is the queen of disco?
- Irate customer: Uh, Donna Summer?
- Restaurant Manager: Right, and how is Miss Summer listed in the phone book?
- Irate customer: Uh, Summer, Donna?
- Restaurant Manager: Now, slow that down.
- Irate customer: Summer, Donna, Summer Donna, Summer Donna
- Restaurant Manager: That's right; now what do you need to do?
- Nadine, Restaurant Manager: Simmer down now! Simmer down now!
- [Customer runs out of the restaurant]