Dave Chappelle: For What It's Worth (2004 TV Special)

Dave Chappelle: Self

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Quotes 

• Dave Chappelle : [On the Michael Jackson child sexual abuse allegations]  Or maybe he did it. Who knows? Who knows? That's the thing, that's what I want to say: Who knows? Who the fuck knows? Mike, God, and this little boy know, that's about it. That's about it. Only reason I can even talk about this shit is everybody's speculating. They all think he did it, and I don't think he did it. I'm alone in this. I don't think he did it. I'm not gonna say "I don't think he did it", that's too strong. Let me just say I'm reserving judgment until all the facts come out. But so far from what I've heard, I mean the kid said he was dying of cancer, he was in Make-A-Wish Foundation, he claims he had two weeks to live, and it was his dying wish to meet Michael Jackson. Come on, Man. Give me a fucking break. This kid is 10-years-old, he don't remember "Thriller". The fuck you want to meet Michael Jackson for, honestly? I remember "Thriller" and I just kinda wanted to meet this nigga. Like, I wouldn't break an appointment to meet him, I'll put it that way. I'd have to already be free. That's ridiculous, that'd be like if I'm dying in two weeks and go "Oh, mama, get me in a room with Chubby Checker." I wouldn't wanna meet that motherfucker. Not in my last two weeks. why not Usher, or somebody like this. So then the kid claims he goes to Michael's house - this is where it all gets crazy - I don't... like, you know, he does everything you'd expect at Michael's house, they climb trees, and rode roller coasters and Ferris wheels, the chef made cookies, pies, and cakes, they was petting a monkey and giraffes, sing songs: kid shit. And in the middle of all this child like activity, for some reason, Mike pulled out some wine and some pills and sucked this kid's dick - folks it hurts me to say it - and the kid had the nerve to call that abuse. Motherfucker, that is a good host. Goddamn, what else do you want? What else do you want? I'm lucky to get a glass of grape drink at my friend's house, let alone a roller coaster ride and my dick sucked. Mike must be confused, like "I brought you in my house, I fed you, I sucked your dick, and this is how you repay me, motherfucker? This was your wish not mine. I thought you were dying in two weeks, what happened to that motherfucker? I've been in court for a year and a half, you get stronger every time I see you."

• Dave Chappelle : [Impersonating a Korean man]  Hey! What make you think I am Chinese? I am KOREAN. Do I look Chinese?

  Dave Chappelle : [Dave looks around confused]  Yes, motherfucker, you do look Chinese, That's why I said it.