The Benchwarmers (2006)

David Spade: Richie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Richie : [after hitting the ball]  I ticked it, it hit the bat!

  Charlie Catcher : You're ssstill out.

  Richie : You're ssstill fat!

• Richie : He just did that steroid free!

  Clark : What's steroids?

  Richie : Something that makes your 'pee-pee' smaller.

  Clark : Ohh... there must be steroids in macaroni!

• Gus : [looking at baseball cards]  We've got statistics! I got 30 homeruns!

  Richie : I got 11 foul ticks!

  Clark : I got 20 eyes-closed strike outs, 5 broken windshields, and 6 dead birds! I'm freakin' awesome!

• Richie : [after Salad Girl leaves]  What do you think of my future wife?

  Old Man : I smell Cinnamon Rolls!

  Richie : Oh, I smell Cinnamon Rolls too.

• Brad : Hey, what the... Clark? Richie? I hardly recognised you clowns without the underwear on your heads!

  Richie : Brad! Wow, you have really not slimmed down!

• [repeated line] 

  Richie : I love... salad.

• Richie : Clark, we don't play baseball.

  Clark : I told Gus that we would be there, and if we don't show up, that makes me a liar... and that's not what I'm about... Not now, NOT EVER!

  Richie : Okay, Okay Daytime Emmy

• Kyle : Leave our field or you will suffer the consequences!

  Richie : What is this, "children of the corn"?

• Brad : So I heard from Jerry you tools think you're athletes now?

  Richie : That's funny, I didn't know athlete had three syllables, A-tha-lete? That's ama-za-zing.

  Brad : You think you're hot shit 'cos you know words.

  Clark : Hey Brad, why don't you be a stud and point us towards the register, or... Register... er...!...

• Richie : I guess I'm no longer a virgin... to home runs, BYOTCH!

• Mel : Have you even known the joys of having children?

  Richie : Never had a date.

  Clark : Never talked to a girl.

• Richie : Yeah, I bet you're a real good catcher... of donuts in your mouth.

• Clark : That nerd makes me look like Rambo.

  Richie : No.

  Clark : John Stamos?

  Richie : Warmer.

• Richie : Dude. You smell like beer.

  Carlos : You look like beer.

• Richie : Clark! You kissed a girl before I did?

  Clark : This is way better than macaroni!

• Mel : Richie, do you have any kids?

  Richie : Never had a date.

  Mel : Clark?

  Clark : Never spoke to a girl.

  Mel : Gu-Gus?

  Gus : Ugh, My wife and I are kinda working on it.

• Mel : Reggie and I met at Tuba Camp when we were kids

  [shows picture of Reggie and Himself playing their tubas when they were younger] 

  Gus : HAHA,Reggie that was you?

  Reggie Jackson : [angrily]  What are you laughing about?I was a cute kid.

  Gus : [frightened]  Oh,uh,Yes.Like a young Denzel.

  Richie : [whispered to Clark]  I didn't know Denzel played Erkel.

• Richie : Are you guys ready to scr-mi-mimage?

• Clark : We could still win this thing.

  Richie : Wha-how?

  Clark : If we use the force.

  Richie : Let's try not to be too geeky, Clark.

  Clark : The Force is powerful, my young padawan.

  Howie : He's right. It is.

• Brad : You guys think you're athletes now?

  Richie : Haha that's funny I didn't know ath-e-letes had three syllables... thats ama-za-zaing.

• Richie : [after pulling up to Mel's house]  Wow,I always wondered who lived here, I just thought it was Clay Aiken or something.

• Richie : [after Gus hits a homerun]  Wow and he did it without steroids.

  Clark : What's steroids?

  Richie : Something that makes your pee-pee smaller.

  Clark : There must be steroids in macaroni!

• [looking at Mel's Pontiac Firebird Trans Am] 

  Clark : This car is so radical. Looks just like K.I.T.T. from the show Knight Rider.

  Mel : It is K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider. Watch this.

  [Mel activates the car with his watch] 

  K.I.T.T. : Allow me to introduce myself. I'm K.I.T.T.

  Richie : [to Mel]  Who are you?

  Mel : Oh, I'm just one of those nerds who grew up... to make billions.

• Howie : Richie?

  [hands out a bottle of urine] 

  Richie : Okay, buddy.

  Clark : Is that apple juice?

  Richie : Nooo.

• Richie : [after Salad Girl gives back a video]  Well, I am management, so I'm gonna waive the late fee.

  Salad Girl : Oh, they're not late, but thank you.

  [Richie laughs nervously] 

• Clark : [a ball hits Richie in the head]  Duuuuhhhr!

  Richie : You just lost your membership at video world!

  Clark : Dang it!