The Benchwarmers (2006)

Nick Swardson: Howie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Howie : For years I thought the sun was a monster. But I am here to tell you that it's not a monster! IT'S NOT A MONSTER!

  [cries] 

• Howie : Richie told me about the serial killers thats loose in in our neighborhood killing anyone named Howie! THAT'S MY NAME! That's my name!

• Howie : I used to think the sun was evil but now I know it's not.

  Wayne : How's the moon treating you.

  Howie : Not a fan.

• Howie : [quivering]  Carlos?

  Carlos : Who say my name?

  Howie : [gives him 2 packs of beer and a tequila]  I brought you a present from the Benchwarmers. You're really good at baseball.

  Carlos : [happy]  Thank you Albino.

  [bold] 

  Carlos : Now get lost!

  Howie : [cowers away screeching] 

• Clark : We could still win this thing.

  Richie : Wha-how?

  Clark : If we use the force.

  Richie : Let's try not to be too geeky, Clark.

  Clark : The Force is powerful, my young padawan.

  Howie : He's right. It is.

• Howie : What's going all the way?

  Wayne : [whispers in Howie's ear] 

  Howie : Oh.

  [squeezes suntan lotion and screams] 

  Howie : Aaaaaah!

• Howie : Richie?

  [hands out a bottle of urine] 

  Richie : Okay, buddy.

  Clark : Is that apple juice?

  Richie : Nooo.