Hoodwinked! (2005)

Jim Belushi: The Woodsman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Nicky Flippers : It would seem that all of you came together tonight by mistake.

  [walks past dog typing notes] 

  Nicky Flippers : Maybe you naughty neighbors butted heads so we could get to the real truth.

  The Wolf : The Goody Bandit

  Nicky Flippers : That's right. The Bandit's still at large. There's been a lot of finger pointing tonight, but now all fingers point to the Bandit.

  The Woodsman : Not my finger!

  [quickly puts index finger in mouth and starts sucking it] 

  Nicky Flippers : Oh no, you were just out damaging forest property, cutting down the redwoods we all call home.

  [the Woodsman starts spluttering] 

  Nicky Flippers : Big guy like you, you could probably take whatever you want from little goody-loving creatures, couldn't you?

  The Woodsman : But someone robbed me! Have we lost track of that?

  Nicky Flippers : Thats right, someone did. Maybe a snack food competitor. Right Granny?

  Granny : Now hold on a pea-picking minute! I may lead a double life full of secrets and deception, but that's no reason to be suspicious.

  The Woodsman : Huh?

  Nicky Flippers : A woman like you could have a lot to gain stealing all those recipes.

  Chief Grizzly : And that's how she makes her goodies so good! Eh?

  Nicky Flippers : Or she could just be another victim... of a hungry Wolf

  The Wolf : Ah, the wolf did it. Talk about profiling.

  Nicky Flippers : Why should we trust someone who wears disguises for a living?

  Chief Grizzly : Maybe he's not a wolf at all!

  The Wolf : You got me. I'm a poodle. I just haven't been to the barbershop in a long time.

  Chief Grizzly : Is this all just a big joke to you?

  The Wolf : I just followed the girl here.

  Granny : You leave my granddaughter alone!

  Nicky Flippers : Yes, now we get to Little Red, the girl with the basket on the run.

  [camera points to empty chair] 

  Nicky Flippers : Where is she anyway?

• The Wolf : I can't believe I'm saying this but... drink up.

  [gives Twitchy the coffee] 

  The Wolf : We may want to stand back.

  Twitchy : [Sips coffee and his eyes buldge and he starts shaking]  Yee-hoo-hoo-hoo! Wahooo! Caffeine! Yeah baby! Whoa!

  The Wolf : Go get 'em boy.

  [Twitchy takes off and bounces all over the place] 

  The Wolf : What... have I done?

  Granny : Now the rest's up to us.

  The Woodsman : Can I have coffee?

• The Woodsman : [disguised as Dolph]  Uh, Mister Rabbit...

  Boingo : Dolph! Where have you been? You nimwitted Eurotrash with the... what is that, a ski mask?

  The Woodsman : Uh, I, um, yah...

  Boingo : I like that! See, that's scary. Yeah that's good...

  The Woodsman : Um, b-boss...

  Boingo : WHAT? Say it! Spit it out! What's goin' on?

  The Woodsman : Um... boss, uh,

  [singing] 

  The Woodsman : Paul's bunion cream/has the soothing formula...

  The Wolf : [interrupts, also in disguise]  Hi there! What he means to say is that I'm the building inspector.

  The Woodsman : Yah, yes!

  The Wolf : I just need to tap the pipes; see if your wiring's up to par.

  Boingo : Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it, you're not... no, you can't touch anything in here.

  The Wolf : [pauses]  Let's walk.

• The Woodsman : I had always heard about call backs. But, I had never gotten one!

• The Woodsman : What the Schnitzel?

• The Woodsman : [trying out for a commercial]  Arrrgh! Paul's Bunion Cream has the soothing formula...

  Jimmy Lizard : [interrupts]  Whoa, whoa, whoa, no! Hold it, hold it!

  [music stops] 

  Jimmy Lizard : Ho, ho, stop... Look, "Argh"?

  The Woodsman : Uh-huh...

  Jimmy Lizard : What... what are ya, some kinda German pirate or somethin'?

  The Woodsman : I just got the script, like, five minutes ago... I'm trying...

  Jimmy Lizard : Okay, sure, sure, um... you're not gettin' it...