Hoodwinked! (2005)

Xzibit: Chief Grizzly

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chief Grizzly : Pretty thin Wolf! You say the old lady was already tied up. How did that happen?

  The Wolf : I don't know, maybe to make herself look innocent. I just write the news Chief, I don't make it.

  Red : For a reporter, you sure have a strange way of doing your job.

  The Wolf : What can I say? I was raised by wolves.

• Chief Grizzly : [referring about the Woodsman]  This guy's a loon.

  Det. Bill Stork : Watch it, chief. My mama's half-loon.

• Nicky Flippers : It would seem that all of you came together tonight by mistake.

  [walks past dog typing notes] 

  Nicky Flippers : Maybe you naughty neighbors butted heads so we could get to the real truth.

  The Wolf : The Goody Bandit

  Nicky Flippers : That's right. The Bandit's still at large. There's been a lot of finger pointing tonight, but now all fingers point to the Bandit.

  The Woodsman : Not my finger!

  [quickly puts index finger in mouth and starts sucking it] 

  Nicky Flippers : Oh no, you were just out damaging forest property, cutting down the redwoods we all call home.

  [the Woodsman starts spluttering] 

  Nicky Flippers : Big guy like you, you could probably take whatever you want from little goody-loving creatures, couldn't you?

  The Woodsman : But someone robbed me! Have we lost track of that?

  Nicky Flippers : Thats right, someone did. Maybe a snack food competitor. Right Granny?

  Granny : Now hold on a pea-picking minute! I may lead a double life full of secrets and deception, but that's no reason to be suspicious.

  The Woodsman : Huh?

  Nicky Flippers : A woman like you could have a lot to gain stealing all those recipes.

  Chief Grizzly : And that's how she makes her goodies so good! Eh?

  Nicky Flippers : Or she could just be another victim... of a hungry Wolf

  The Wolf : Ah, the wolf did it. Talk about profiling.

  Nicky Flippers : Why should we trust someone who wears disguises for a living?

  Chief Grizzly : Maybe he's not a wolf at all!

  The Wolf : You got me. I'm a poodle. I just haven't been to the barbershop in a long time.

  Chief Grizzly : Is this all just a big joke to you?

  The Wolf : I just followed the girl here.

  Granny : You leave my granddaughter alone!

  Nicky Flippers : Yes, now we get to Little Red, the girl with the basket on the run.

  [camera points to empty chair] 

  Nicky Flippers : Where is she anyway?

• Nicky Flippers : So! Mr. Wolf... May I call you Wolf?

  The Wolf : You can call me Sheila. I like long walks and fresh flowers.

  Chief Grizzly : Quit playing around, Wolf! You're looking at 3 to 5 in an old shoe with no windows, SO START SINGIN'!

• Chief Grizzly : Am I gonna get to put the cuffs on someone or WHAT?

  Nicky Flippers : Ah, remember Ted, pieces of the puzzle make funny shapes, but they still fit together in the end.

  Chief Grizzly : Boy, you're just full o' those, aren'tcha?

• Chief Grizzly : This looks pretty open and shut. Little miss rosy-capes making covert deliveries to the goodie-tycoon. Wolfie tries to eat 'em both, then crazy flannel-pants with the axe here busts in, swinging vigilante-style. Take 'em downtown boys!

  Det. Bill Stork : Ah, it's the woods chief, we don't have a downtown.

  Chief Grizzly : You know what I mean! Just book'em!

• [Red has just explained how she escaped the Wolf] 

  Chief Grizzly : Yep, that settles it. We've got our bandit.

  Nicky Flippers : Ah, could be. I'd like to count my chickens after they hatch.

  Tommy : [oinks]  Chickens?

  Red Puckett : You've gotta admit, a wolf stopping kids in the middle of the forest? That's pretty creepy!

  Nicky Flippers : Yes, right. But we don't arrest people for being creepy.

  Tommy : [on radio]  Yeah Bruce, you know that guy we got in the tank?

  Bruce : Uh... the creepy one?

  Tommy : Yeah, better let him go.

  Nicky Flippers : [to Red]  So you went on to Granny's?

  Red Puckett : I found an old trail up the north side of the mountain.

• Chief Grizzly : [listening to Twitchy talk really fast]  It's like he's speaking *words* of some kind.

• [Flippers has shown up uninvited] 

  Chief Grizzly : Nicky Flippers? What are you doing here? This is *my* case!

  Nicky Flippers : Well, someone hibernated on the wrong side of the cave. I saw the lights, thought the circus was in town.

  [eyes the four detainees] 

  Nicky Flippers : Now of course, I see I was right.

  Chief Grizzly : Well you're too late, Nicky, I've got this case wrapped up nice and tight.

  Nicky Flippers : Is that right?

  Chief Grizzly : Yeah.

  Red Puckett : They've got this all wrong, Mr. Flippers.

  [Flippers turns to Red] 

  Nicky Flippers : Oh, I don't know. You look pretty dangerous to me. What's your name?

  Red Puckett : Red.

  Nicky Flippers : And why do they call you that?

  Red Puckett : Why do they call you "Flippers"?

  Nicky Flippers : [Cuts to Flippers on the dance floor at a disco club in a flashy white suit. As the crowd chants "Go Flippers!" in the background, he does a backflip and lands in a splitz]  Uh, no reason.

  Red Puckett : They call me "Red" because of this red hood I wear.

  Nicky Flippers : What about when you're not wearing it?

  [beat] 

  Red Puckett : I usually wear it.

• Granny : [Granny has just revealed that she is an extreme sports athlete]  Honey, don't look at your granny like that.

  Red Puckett : I'm sorry, I thought you were Triple G! Or are you the Bandit?

  [beat] 

  Det. Bill Stork : Awkward!

  [awkwardly side slips his way out of the room] 

  Granny : You're being ridiculous, Red.

  Red Puckett : *I'm* being ridiculous? You're off living... La Vida Loca, risking your life for some dumb thrills! And I'm supposed to stay home and be your happy little delivery girl?

  Tommy : I, have a...

  Nicky Flippers : Coffee break, anyone?

  Chief Grizzly : Uh, yeah.

  Det. Bill Stork : Whose got my keys?

  Raccoon Jerry : You think Granny would mind if I went through her garbage?

  Chief Grizzly : Excuse us.

  [Everyone except Red and Granny files out of the room] 

  Granny : I thought you were happy.

  Red Puckett : Open your eyes. I've never even been outside of the forest. Don't you think I'd want more than that?

  Granny : Of course you do. You're a Puckett.

  Red Puckett : [sighs]  I don't know what that means anymore.

• Chief Grizzly : Shouldn't you be in school?

  Red : Shouldn't I have a lawyer?

• Nicky Flippers : [Twitchy runs across the road, causing Chief Grizzly to swerve before straightening up the car again]  Who taught you how to drive?

  Chief Grizzly : Almost hit a squirrel

• [Grizzly has learned that the Wolf was trying to eat Red] 

  Chief Grizzly : All right, get a muzzle on that guy.

  The Wolf : Hey, I can explain everything.

  Chief Grizzly : Well you can explain it to the judge.

  [turns to Red] 

  Chief Grizzly : Shouldn't you be at school?

  Red Puckett : Shouldn't *I* have a lawyer?

• Nicky Flippers : I wanna know more about this fellow with the axe. How does he fit into all this?

  Det. Bill Stork : Maybe you should AXE him yourself! Ha ha ha ha haaa ha haaa! You-haha-see haa ha haaa! Axe-haaa ha ha! He he hee...

  Chief Grizzly : [Stares blankly at Bill] 

  Det. Bill Stork : [glumly]  I'll bring him in.

• Chief Grizzly : [to the Wolf, after he tells his side]  You got a way to back this up?

  Twitchy : [appears]  I got these pictures developed, Mr. Flippers!

  Nicky Flippers : That so? Let's have a look...

  [examines photos] 

  Nicky Flippers : Hmmm... these are good... Ha...

  [shows picture of Wolf mounted in fish costume] 

  Nicky Flippers : Here's a nice one of you, Wolf.

  The Wolf : Grrph...

  Twitchy : I wanna do an expose' sometime; a gallery show. And maybe a coffee table book, 'course, I don't drink coffee. Maybe a china tea/latte book.

  Nicky Flippers : Photos don't lie, Chief.

  The Wolf : Good work, Twitchy.

  Chief Grizzly : Grrph!