Billy Connolly: Dargis
Photos
Quotes
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Prince : So it's hide-and-seek you want to play? Alright, I'll count to 100.
[Rommel barks]
Dargis : Hello, Rommel!
Prince : 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...
[Dargis continues walking with Prince in the basket]
Prince : 35, 36, 37, 38...
[Dargis approaches the river]
Prince : 96, 97, 98, 99, 100. Alright, fair warning. Ready or not, here I co - - me!
[Dargis throws the basket in the river with Prince in it]
Dargis : Bon voyage, Prince!
Prince : Oh, dear me. I may have misjudged the old boy. Perhaps he is somewhat of a scoundrel. After all, this is *not* the way one plays hide and seek.
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[a duck takes a dip into the pool]
Dargis : [shoos away the duck] You savage beast! How dare you! Get out of here! Smithee! There's something in the pool, Smithee!
[Smithee comes with a towel]
Dargis : [dries himself] There's a duck in my pool, Smithee! A duck!
Smithee : A duck, sir?
Dargis : Filthy wild animal soaking itself in my pool. What do you intend doing about it?
Smithee : I shall... speak to the duck, sir? Oh by the way, the solicitors are here for the reading of Lady Eleanor's will.
Dargis : Excellent. In a few moments I'll be the master of this entire state. And from this day on things will be done my way.
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Garfield : Look at this room, for example. How are you gonna liven this place up?
Winston : But sire, this castle is centuries old.
Garfield : It's a museum. It's boring. And you know what's missing when your crib is a museum? It's called fun!
Winston : Fun?
Garfield : It's not that hard, you just need a running start at something. Just... whoa...
Winston : This is gonna end up so badly.
[Garfield slides across the floor and bumps into a table which sends a flower vase falling to the floor]
Garfield : It was already cracked.
Winston : Ha-ha. Nothing escapes you, sire.
Garfield : Yeah, I like the way this feels. You slide, baby. Whoa...
[knocks over a china vase and breaks it]
Garfield : D'uh oh.
Winston : Don't worry about that. That one was cracked as well.
Garfield : [leans against a statue] Oh, I can relax. Oops.
[the statue tips over, knocking down all the other statues in succession]
Dargis : [enters the museum] What the... Oof!
[last statue falls on Dargis]
Dargis : Smithee! Get this thing off me!
Garfield : Oh, let's go try another room.
Winston : Good idea, sire.
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[after being locked in a dungeon by Dargis]
Garfield : [from inside a sack] You creep!
Dargis : There's more than one way to skin a royal cat!
Garfield : I'm not a royal cat, I'm a self-centered house cat! Wait!
[gets out of the sack and runs to the door]
Garfield : Why, you think I'm gonna crack in here? Uh-uh. No. This is gonna be a treat. I'm finally gonna have some quality alone time. I'm gonna write that novel I've been putting off. I'm gonna learn a couple of foreign languages, I'm gonna start a whole new workout regimen. I'm gonna lose all this. Get myself in top physical condition... thank you! Yeah, I love it here. You've done me an enormous favor. Who's laughing now?
[laughs timidly]
