The Ultimate Gift (2006)

Bill Cobbs: Mr. Theophilus Hamilton

Photos 

Quotes 

• Miss Hastings : [appraising Red's relatives]  It's amazing just how far the fruit can fall from the tree.

  Ted Hamilton : And still roll a great distance.

• Ted Hamilton : So you're Jason's friend?

  Emily : Yes. I am.

  Ted Hamilton : True friend?

  Emily : Absolutely. Pinkie promise.

  Ted Hamilton : So how long have you known Mr. Stevens?

  Emily : We go way back, we're like this.

  [crosses fingers] 

  Emily : Now where do I sign?

  Ted Hamilton : And, um... , he hasn't promised you any compensation for this friendship?

  Emily : Look at him. Does he LOOK like he has anything to offer?

  [Miss Hastings suppresses a laugh] 

  Ted Hamilton : So, uh... , you expect this friendship to continue?

  Emily : I plan on knowing Jason for the rest of my life.

• Ted Hamilton : What he's trying to do is for your benefit, not your destruction.

  Jason Stevens : You know, Hamilton, you sound just like him. But guess what. You're not him.

  Ted Hamilton : I don't know, son. I do have one of his kidneys.

• Ted Hamilton : I think it's time I retire from this law firm.

  Miss Hastings : What ever will you do, Mr. Hamilton?

  Ted Hamilton : Go to work with Jason Stevens. Change the world.

• Ted Hamilton : [reading Red's will]  "To Sarah, widow of my late son, Jay Howard Stevens. I am truly sorry for the events of the past. Please know that Jay's death represents the greatest tragedy I have ever experienced. I leave you control of my Myers Park estate where you now reside and a managed trust for expenses as long as you live."

  Sarah Stevens : [smugly to her male companion]  There we go.

  Ted Hamilton : [continuing]  "Since your choice of male companionship is vast and varied, the deed and title for the house shall remain under the control of my trustees."

• Jason Stevens : That was the gift? I do manual labor for a month and you're trying to tell me it was a favor... to ME?

  Ted Hamilton : The gift of work.

  Jason Stevens : Wow.

• Jason Stevens : I think it's only fair that I know the amount of money that we're dealing with here. Don't you? I mean, I've been gone for a month. Just... tell me. What do I have to do? What is it?

  Ted Hamilton : Red said "a series of gifts," but let me add a personal note: I, too, think this is a waste of time, but it will end shortly because you are going to fail. I expect you to fail and to fail miserably. Now, if you DO want to continue, make an appointment with Miss Hastings.