- [while playing Monopoly]
- Harry Solomon: Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect $200 and do not, I repeat, do not drop the soap.
- [Harry teaches Dick how to be manly]
- Dr. Dick Solomon: What about scratching?
- Harry Solomon: Outside the pants, manly.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: What about inside the pants?
- Harry Solomon: Too manly.
- Tommy Solomon: Good morning, Harry. What are you eating?
- Harry Solomon: New cereal.
- Tommy Solomon: [he looks at the box] Monopoly?
- Harry Solomon: Finally. A cereal about real estate.
- Sally Solomon: Ah, Harry, that's a game, like "Life".
- Harry Solomon: Life's a cereal, too.
- Tommy Solomon: And a magazine.
- Sally Solomon: Yeah, and a bowl of cherries, but that doesn't change the fact that you're eating little plastic houses.
- [Dick finds out that his blue suit was ruined, just before a party at Mary's house]
- Sally Solomon: Why don't you wear your brown suit?
- Dr. Dick Solomon: No, Mary wants the blue. And if Mary wants the blue, Mary gets the blue.
- Tommy Solomon: Uhhh, permission to state the obvious, High Commander.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Permission granted.
- Tommy Solomon: You are soooo whipped!
- Dr. Dick Solomon: I'm tired of feeling like a Catholic schoolboy always getting his knuckles rapped by the nun he's dating.
- [Dick asks Harry for tips on being masculine]
- Harry Solomon: First of all, you need a manly name. 'Dick' is so... girly.