- Harry Solomon: I lost more than a coat, Tommy. I lost a friend. A buddy. A companion who kept me warm when it was cold and warmer when it was kind of too hot to be wearing a coat.
- Tommy Solomon: No, I don't get it. Give me an example of what's funny.
- August: OK, let's see, um... I thought the movie "Emma" was really funny.
- Tommy Solomon: What was funny about it?
- August: Didn't you get it? It was full of irony.
- Tommy Solomon: OK, so irony's funny.
- August: Sure, because someone says something, and the opposite is actually true.
- Tommy Solomon: Oh, OK, like, like when you told me "Emma" was going to be a really great movie, when actually it sucked out loud?
- August: I'M not funny? I'll have you know that at camp, I was voted Miss Whimsy!
- Tommy Solomon: What happened, was Miss Irony killed in a canoe accident?
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Imagine how different war would be if we told jokes, if we just tickled each other's brains...
- Harry Solomon: I can do that with a chopstick!
- Sally Solomon: But we'd still have guns, right? Because eventually we'd want to get on with the killing...