- Tommy Solomon: Did you hear about that guy who cut off his finger in shop class, and then sewed it back on in Home Ec?
- Sally Solomon: [to Dick, who is trying to lose weight] Just be thankful you're a man, y'know? I mean, you guys can get away with it.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: You don't know what you're talking about!
- Sally Solomon: Oh, don't I? The only time a woman is allowed to get fat is when she's pregnant, but she can't even enjoy it because she's barfing all the time and her boobs have turned into a restaurant!