- Dr. Mary Albright: [Watching the promotional video] Those are my lines!
- Dr. Dick Solomon: They cut us out!
- Dr. Mary Albright: Judith!
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Judith! That back stabbing, scene stealing bitch!
- Dr. Mary Albright: I understand why they cut you out, you were sabotaging the entire project! But me?
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Yes, how dare they cut out the
- [in an English accent]
- Dr. Dick Solomon: bloody Queen of England!
- Nina Campbell: Harry, are you seeing anyone?
- Harry Solomon: No, I'm completely unattached, totally available, ready, willing and available.
- Nina Campbell: I'm not seeing anyone either and I was thinking since we like each other and both of us aren't seeing anyone... Do you see where I'm going with this?
- Harry Solomon: Yeah, we can only be friends and nothing more.
- Nina Campbell: Yeah. That's exactly where I'm going...
- Harry Solomon: The hell with friendship! I want you, woman!
- [He kisses her]
- Dr. Bankson: Nina, I'm ready for you!
- Nina Campbell: I'll be right back.
- Harry Solomon: I'll be right here no matter what. No matter what occurs, what it takes, I'll be here! I'm the one you can rely on!
- [sits on a man's lap]
- Harry Solomon: I'm sorry, but a promise is a promise.
- Nina Campbell: Harry, I've been looking all over for the right guy. Turns out he was right in my backyard!
- Harry Solomon: I once found a perfectly good comb in my backyard.
- [He kisses her, they lie on the bed, Nina finds the 20 dollars for the 4 teeth she had pulled out under the pillow]
- Nina Campbell: What's this?
- Harry Solomon: You weren't supposed to find that until tomorrow morning!
- Nina Campbell: You gave me 20 dollars?
- Harry Solomon: Yeah! Well, that's the going rate, isn't it?
- Nina Campbell: Going rate?
- Harry Solomon: 5 bucks a pop!
- Nina Campbell: I think you need to get out!
- Harry Solomon: I thought we were going to have sex?
- Nina Campbell: Get out!
- Harry Solomon: I don't think it's the men you've been dating, I think it's that you're a little bit moody!
- Ronnie: Hey, mister! Look what I got!
- Harry Solomon: Thanks, kid!
- Harry Solomon: [eats the tooth]
- Ronnie: You just ate my tooth!
- Harry Solomon: There's no graceful way out of this.
- Ronnie: Now I won't get any money from the Tooth Fairy!
- Harry Solomon: Tooth Fairy?
- Ronnie: Yeah! You know, you lose a tooth and the Tooth Fairy puts five dollars under your pillow.
- Harry Solomon: Wow, are you sure?
- Mom: Yes, and the Tooth Fairy will visit Ronnie tonight.
- [She winks]
- Harry Solomon: Are you coming onto me?
- Sally Solomon: How's a western omelette sound?
- Officer Don: That sounds good.
- Sally Solomon: Terrific! Throw some bacon in if you've got it.
- Officer Don: I see you're making yourself at home.
- Sally Solomon: This is WAY better than home! Nobody tells me what to do, nobody complains...
- Officer Don: Not yet.
- Nina Campbell: You know, for years I've been searching for the perfect guy, and all the time he was right in my own backyard.
- Harry Solomon: I once found a perfectly good comb in my backyard.
- Nina Campbell: I'm having my wisdom teeth removed.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Wouldn't it make more sense to have extra ones installed?
- Dr. Mary Albright: I thought you said it was a pointless exercise in narcissism!
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Well, now it has a point.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: [Doing promotional video] A's are easy to come by here at Pendleton, as is delicious thin crust pizza.