- "Hannibal": [B.A.'s doubled over moaning] It's getting worse.
- "B.A." Baracus: What about you?
- "Hannibal": Got a stomach full of razor blades. I'll drive, we both need a doctor.
- "Faceman": [the A-Team has just run through an obstacle course led by Hannibal] Oh, man I'm glad that's over.
- Murdock: Man, I'm telling you, I feel like a million bucks! There's nothing like pain and anguish to give a man self respect! I noticed Face lagging a bit, though.
- "Faceman": What?
- "Hannibal": He's right Face.
- Murdock: Oh, thanks a lot, Murdock.
- "Hannibal": That'll cost you two miles into town. And two miles back. But I'll be easy on you, I'll give you 32 minutes.
- King: [disguised as a milkman] Well, I gotta tell you guys, I never saw a milk order like this. You must have one hell of a big kitty around here.
- [laughs]
- "B.A." Baracus: We love milk!
- Capt. H.M. "The Soldier" Murdock: Correction, oh Barracan one. You like milk. But for a hardened professional like The Soldier the basic moo-juice just won't win the war.
- "B.A." Baracus: [carrying three crates of milk] Shut up, fool, and grab this other one.
- Capt. H.M. "The Soldier" Murdock: Negative, negative. I gotta stay lean and lightning and ready to fight.
- "Hannibal" Smith: Look, you seem like a semi-nice girl under all that greed and make-up. Let me take you some advice: Don't lie to me. It's not nice to lie to me.
- King: [posing as a doctor] You haven't got a prayer, Smith. You drank some of that milk, I can see it on you.
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: I save my prayers for Sundays.
- Major Douglas Kyle: Where's Smith, Peck?
- Templeton "Faceman" Peck: You know, that's the beauty of it. I haven't the slightest idea. I never do, really. He's a real mystery, eh, a walking riddle. Yeah, he might start dropping bombs on you guys. Then on the other hand he might just show up as a nun. I can't tell. And eh, I know, oh, just about as well as anybody else. Yeah, he's really quite... mystical.
- Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: [having just knocked out Jackie Hoffer] Good guys two, bad guys zilcherooney.
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Now, next time you think you wanna take somebody out, pal. Don't get yourself a squad, get yourself a team.
- Templeton "Faceman" Peck: I'm ashamed to admit it, they got me with a girl.
- Murdock: It could be worse. They got me with a dog.
- Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Yeah, I guess that's worse.
- Murdock: Hey, I fell for a dog!
- Tawnia Baker: Are you alright?
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: There's a doctor in Bad Rock... Maggie Sullivan, get her... hurry!
- [collapses on the floor]
- "B.A." Baracus: [reading the vanity plate on a woman's car Face was seen with] Koochy, something tells me she's not an M.D.
- Murdock: [running Hannibal's obstacle course] I guess it's too late to ask you guys to bust me back into the V.A.!