- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Colonel, I'm impressed you read the paper. I thought you stayed away from anything that didn't have pictures.
- "B.A." Baracus: Where are we?
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Borneo.
- "B.A." Baracus: Where?
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Shhh!
- "Faceman" Peck: Borneo. You know, small island in the Western Pacific Ocean divided between Malaysia, Indonesia and Brunei.
- "B.A." Baracus: Are you sure?
- "Faceman" Peck: Positive. I used to date a geography major.
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: The U.S. Military pushed you out of an airplane.
- "Faceman" Peck: That's right, pushed all of us.
- "B.A." Baracus: Hey man, the last thing I remember, we were being detained by the MP's. We all were. And they don't push out no airplane for robbin' no bank of Hanoi!
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: 'm afraid they did, when we told them we wouldn't take the mission if you didn't come along. I think they spiked our milk.
- "Faceman" Peck: Yeah, and that's a terrible thing to do to something that baby's drink.
- Major Briggs: You know, Colonel Lynch, chasing Hannibal Smith as much as we have, I've come to appreciate his sense of humor.
- Army Col. Lynch: Sence of humor? You think that's funny, then? Hannibal Smith working under the name of Lynch?
- Rashaad: American commando's illegally in my country without papers? Hehe, this will be an international incident.
- "Faceman" Peck: What do you mean international incident? We heard you had great potato soup and wanted to get some before it was all gone.
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: What kind of a rock did they find you under?
- Army Col. Lynch: Not nearly as big as the one I'm going to use to crush you, Smith.
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: We accept the assignment. It's better than being pulled into a dumpster by a slime monster which I should have been playing anyway.
- "B.A." Baracus: Hannibal, you're crazy. Just like Murdock.
- Major Briggs: Excuse me, we're looking for an actor named Lynch.
- Army Col. Lynch: His real name is John Smith. He's using Lynch as an alias.
- Film crew member: Lynch? You'd think he could do better than that!