- Gen. Hunt Stockwell: [on the phone] The President is calling me every hour. If he can't return that skull to King Fassaad, King Fassaad can't put his country's oldest religious back in his museum. That means he's broken his promise to his people, the President has broken his promise to him, I've broken my promise to the President, and you've broken you're promise to me. Now in that scenario, whose dog gets kicked?
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: [hangs up] We're all invited to the White House, for dinner.
- Chief Walekino: It is custom king must take bride. Most beautiful woman of all island.
- Murdock: Oh, look, Chief, I mean, I couldn't possibly choose the most beautiful
- Chief Walekino: You do not have to choose right away.
- Murdock: Good.
- Chief Walekino: Romance all women. It is duty of King.
- Face: I would have been perfect for this job.
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: What's the story?
- Frankie: The Chief's got all the conforts of home. Furniture, radio, a diamond the size of a rock. And those monks that lead 'em, they've got uzi's under their robes.
- Murdock: Boy, and they had the nerve to question me.
- Australian Mercenary: You didn't say anything about no monks!
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Well, monks do go with a monastary, now don't they?
- Australian Mercenary: I understand you have some diamonds?
- Face: [posing as a monk] Men of God have no need for such... baubles.
- Murdock: "Man who chases too many dollars, chases disappointment."
- Face: It's too long.
- Murdock: Eight words. Eight words is the ideal fortune in a fortune cookie.
- Face: Okay, then it's dumb. Besides, it's not true.
- Murdock: "Man who must write 200 fortunes by Monday, needs support of all friends around him."
- Face: 200? Over the weekend?
- Murdock: Listen, pal, they don't stop eating fortune cookies on the weekend. They must eat at least 14 million Sunday night alone.
- Face: Well, I hope you're getting paid by the cookie.