- "Hannibal" Smith: How's the pain?
- Faceman: Well, only hurts when I breathe.
- "B.A." Baracus: You was out cold for a day and a half in the hospital.
- Frankie Santana: They say you hit on two nurses while you were sedated.
- Faceman: Really? How did I do?
- "Hannibal" Smith: You invoked great sympathy. They left their telephone numbers.
- Gen. Hunt Stockwell: Now, the sooner you pull off these missions, the sooner you get your pardon. It's called the Stockwell incentive plan.
- Faceman: Now, I can tell you what you can do with your plan, Stockwell.