ALF (TV Series)

Some Enchanted Evening (1987)

Max Wright: Willie Tanner

Quotes 

• Willie Tanner : Okay Mister, I want the truth and i want it now!

  ALF : All right. Your hair is thinning.

  Willie Tanner : You got a hold of our guest list, didn't you? You called people and told them to wear costumes just so you could come.

  ALF : You dragged me in here to tell me things i already know?

  Willie Tanner : On top of that, you invited the Burkes.

  ALF : Again, old news.

  Willie Tanner : Just tell me why?

  ALF : Because I want you to get that promotion. Get out there and start kissing up.

  [ALF starts making kissing sounds much to Willie's chagrin] 

  Willie Tanner : I'm not kissing up to anyone, especially not Walter Burke!

  ALF : I knew you wouldn't, so that's why i'm here to do it for you.

• Willie Tanner : You can't go out there, what if they discover you're an alien?

  ALF : They won't, they'll think i'm wearing a costume. See!

  Willie Tanner : Where did you get that zipper?

  ALF : You know that old jacket you were going to throw out?

  Willie Tanner : Yeah.

  ALF : Better hang on to it, I ripped this out of your new raincoat.

  Willie Tanner : [irritated]  All right go on, go out there, I don't care, blow your cover, that's fine!

• Kate Tanner : Honey, you might get that promotion after all.

  Willie Tanner : Sounds like ALF might get the promotion. I don't want to work for ALF.

  Kate Tanner : We already do.

• [the Burkes have shown up at the Tanners for the Halloween party] 

  Willie Tanner : Did you invite them?

  Kate Tanner : Of course not!

  Willie Tanner : Why is he here? Why the costumes?

  Kate Tanner : Maybe they're just trick-or-treating.

  Willie Tanner : What am i supposed to do? offer them candy and send them on their way?

• Lynn Tanner : How do you like Lizard?

  Willie Tanner : I like him, he's intelligent, polite, well groomed. Does he have a van?

  Lynn Tanner : No.

  Willie Tanner : I love him.

• Willie Tanner : Somebody seems to have invited the Burkes and also told all these people to wear costumes. I don't know who that was or why he did it, but i'm going to go into the garage and strangle him.

• Willie Tanner : alf is the life of this party.

• Willie Tanner : you know brian 70 percent is alot