- Dietrich Duchump: Be careful with that sign! My name is on that sign!
- [He walks through the curtain and a wardrobe railing bumps into him]
- Dietrich Duchump: Oww! You maniac! Why don't you watch what you're doing?
- Wardrobe man: Yeah, sir...
- Dietrich Duchump: You could have dislocated my spine!
- Wardrobe man: Yeah, but I...
- Dietrich Duchump: These are not fishing vests, you denim-brained putz! They're works of art!
- [He sees the wardrobe man's gaze]
- Dietrich Duchump: What? What is it? You're looking at my eyes. Why?
- Wardrobe man: No, it's, I...
- Dietrich Duchump: You think they're contacts, is that it? Well, they are real. I just happen to have been blessed with naturally vibrant amber-colored eyes.
- Wardrobe man: Well then, uh, one of your completely naturally vibrant amber-colored eyes is on your cheek.
- [Duchump sees that one of his contacts fell out]
- Dietrich Duchump: You're just jealous, you pathetic, common-eyed person!
- Dietrich Duchump: My real name is Leonard Irkman from Duluth. Please don't hurt me.
- [the Gromble growls. Leonard runs away screaming]