Absolutely Fabulous (TV Series)

Birthday (1992)

Julia Sawalha: Saffron

Quotes 

• Eddie : Oh, sweetie, oh, darling. Can you help me, sweetie, darling? I'm having a hot flush. Darling, darling, quickly, feel my skin. Feel my skin. Feel it.

  Saffron : You're standing too close to the kettle.

  Eddie : I thought I was drying up there for a minute, sweetie.

• Eddie : Oh, sweetie, sweetie... Oooh, sweetie, darling... Darling, they're gorgeous. Where did you get them, sweetie? Hmm? Was it Harvey Nichols, darling?

  Saffron : Yes.

  Eddie : Well, you should tell me. I can get a discount there, sweetie.

  Saffron : I'm glad you like them.

  Eddie : Well, darling, they're hardly the ill-judged tat you normally give me. I mean, Lacroix, darling... They are Lacroix, aren't they, darling? They're not just something you put in the box, are they, sweetie?

  Saffron : Do you like them or not?

  Eddie : I like them if they're Lacroix.

  Saffron : Well they are.

  Eddie : Oh, good. I like them, darling.

• [first lines] 

  Saffron : Morning.

  Eddie : Hello death, hello oblivion. What time is it, darling?

  Saffron : Ten.

  Eddie : Oh, God, I'd better be off.

• Saffron : Look, I didn't know what you'd want, so I invited a few people round for family lunch.

  Eddie : Family? What are you calling family, darling? We're hardly the bloody Waltons, are we. Not just you and my mother, I hope. Is it?

  Saffron : Look, will you stop behaving like this, please?

  Eddie : Darling, this is how I behave. Anyway, I'm allowed to behave however I want on my birthday. House rule, remember, sweetie? Hmm? Especially to someone who didn't even think I might like a champagne breakfast. Not even a bloody cup of tea to wake up to on my birthday, no that would be asking too much, wouldn't it?

• Saffron : You stay and talk to them.

  Mrs. June 'Gran' 'Mother' Monsoon : Oh no.

  Saffron : Go back and talk to them, please.

  Mrs. June 'Gran' 'Mother' Monsoon : I'd rather kiss a baboon's bottom.

• Eddie : You are what you eat remember.

  Saffron : Which makes you a large, vegetarian tart.