Absolutely Fabulous (TV Series)

Morocco (1994)

Jennifer Saunders: Edina

Photos 

Quotes 

• Eddie : We've got everything.

  [Leaves the house. Two seconds later storms back in] 

  Eddie : Tickets, money, passports! Tickets, money, passports!

• Eddie : Study? You don't go to Marrakech to study, darling.

  Patsy : No you don't!

  Eddie : There are lots of reasons to go to Marrakech and studying is not one of them, sweetie. You go to Marrakech for I don't know, drugs, dirt-cheap plates and rugs.

  Patsy : Yeah, easy-going sex with gorgeous, under-age youths...

  Eddie : Yeaaah. Sex changes, doesn't it, Pats? Well, not now, anyway. Not now, anymore.

• Saffron : Well, mum...

  Patsy : No, Eddie!

  Eddie : What?

  Patsy : No, to whatever she's going to say!

  Saffron : I'm talking to my mother!

  Patsy : Just say no, Eddie!

  Eddie : What?

  Patsy : Just tell her no.

  Eddie : I don't understand!

  Saffron : Let me go to Morocco.

  Patsy : No!

  Eddie : Well why not let her go to Morocco? We're going to Marrakech.

  Saffron : It's in Morocco.

  Patsy : This little scud from hell is trying to slime her way onto a trip, and we don't want it.

  Saffron : But, Mum!

  Patsy : Don't you "But, Mum" her!

• Eddie : Just do whatever you want sweetie.

  Patsy : Eddie!

  Eddie : Well... But as your mother, I cannot be held responsible for your well-being. Alright? If you come with us, you're on your own.

• Saffron : Mum, that was Patsy?

  Eddie : Don't worry about it darling. It was only for a year and then it fell off.

• Eddie : There's no bell! Hello? Hello? Hello? Have you got a toilet for the Madam.

  Patsy : Madamoiselle. Moiselle.

  Eddie : Can't you just not go in a hole somewhere?

  Patsy : Go on Eddy, over there. Come on!

• Patsy : Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn!

  Eddie : A bit of bad news, darling?

  Patsy : Yeah, it appears the equipment has turned up.

• [Eddie is trying to guess the "thing" Bubble broke] 

  Eddie : The mouse.

  Bubble : Yeah! The mouse! That's got the tele with VD!

  Eddie : All right...

  [sighs] 

  Eddie : The VD... The Word Processor.

• Eddie : You broke the computer?

  Bubble : Yeah!

  Eddie : When?

  Bubble : Who can say?...

• [Listening to headphones and singing] 

  Bubble : No no... No no no no.

  [Shaking crazily] 

  Bubble : No no no no! No no! There's no limit! No!...

  Eddie : Bubble! Bubble! Bubble! Bubble! Bubble! Now listen, darling please.

• [first lines] 

  Eddie : Sweetie! Oh, darling! Oh, God, sweetie! What a day! What a day I've had, sweetie, darling, darling, darling! I have been at work since I left here this morning!

  Saffron : Do you want some lunch?

  Eddie : No, I had lunch in the studio. Studio, sweetie, studio. Studio, darling. Action, lights, camera.

  Saffron : What have you been doing?

  Eddie : Pop -Specs ad.

  Saffron : What?

  Eddie : You know I represent Pop-Specs darling? We're doing a new ad. We're up marketing the image.

  Saffron : What are Pop-Specs?

  Eddie : What are Pop-Specs! Are you dead? Are you dead? These are them! These are them! Look, darling. These are Pop-Specs! They are great. Look. Do you see that one? Here's another one, darling. Schizophrenia! They're fantastic!

  Saffron : How can you up market those?

  Eddie : Well Patsy's agreed to put them in a photo shoot in her magazine. And there s a new ad darling. New ad, sweetie, which is mainly my idea. My original idea. It's very clever. God! It better bloody work otherwise my company is gonna be left with one minor department store, two student designers, Smudgibars and Lulu paying for your upkeep, darling. And Lulu is like that, sweetie. You could show a little enthusiasm, you know.

• Saffron : Mum, why should I be happy that you're going to spend thousands of pounds on...

  Eddie : Hundreds of thousands of pounds.

  Saffron : ...persuading people to buy some cheap bit of plastic junk that they don't even want?

  Eddie : Don't know they want yet... sweetie.

  Saffron : ...That will then be thrown away after a couple of months once the novelty wears off and sit around polluting the planet.

  Eddie : That's it, is it? That's it, is it? Can I show you, can I show you something, sweetie? Can I show you something on this? Look at that.

  [Eddy points to "Pop-specs" bag] 

  Eddie : What do you think that is, there? What is that?

  Saffron : It's a sticker with a green tree on it.

  Eddie : Yes.

  Saffron : What does that mean?

  Eddie : Kind to trees, sweetie.

  Saffron : How are they kind to trees?

  Eddie : Well, they ain't made of wood. How kind do you want them to be?

• Eddie : [to Bubble]  Now listen, you bloody brainless bimbo, I need this client! I don't need some bollocky vegetable Yankee-bloody-doodle to mess it up for me, alright!

• Eddie : [to Saffy]  Help mummy, darling.

• Eddie : [to Saffy]  Well, if you could try and look a little less like a Christian missionary, I'm sure we'll all be a lot safer. They're all Muslim around here, you know darling.

• Eddie : Have you eaten something?

  Patsy : No, not since nineteen seventy three.

• Eddie : The stench, the heat. That's the last time I ever set foot in a toilet bowl in Northern Africa. I mean, how dare they spit at me! A nation that has a pillowcase with a slit in it as a national costume.

• Ali : And they have to arrange catering for a movie they've been shooting here too.

  Eddie : Oh, what movie?

  Ali : 'Life of Jesus Christ II'.

  Eddie : Who is Jesus these days?

  Ali : Uh... Charles Dance.

• Patsy : [to Edina]  Don't question me!

  Eddie : The only thing I was in danger of sleeping with was a donkey, and even he did a runner.

• [last lines] 

  Saffron : Come on. Wake up!

  Eddie : Oh, God! Did I fall asleep here? Oh, damn. Wake up, Pats! Wake up, darling. Let's catch up on a bit of luxury, sweetie. Oh! I'm going to have some breakfast and sit by the pool or something.

  Saffron : We've got to go, it's Friday.

  Patsy : Friday?

  Saffron : You've been unconscious for three days.

  Eddie , Patsy : No!

  Eddie : What's that smell? What's that smell? Is that you, sweetie? That sort of honey, yoghurty smell? Is that you?

• Eddie : Pop-Specs !

• Eddie : This is a pile of crap.