Absolutely Fabulous (TV Series)

Morocco (1994)

Julia Sawalha: Saffron

Quotes 

• Saffron : Well, mum...

  Patsy : No, Eddie!

  Eddie : What?

  Patsy : No, to whatever she's going to say!

  Saffron : I'm talking to my mother!

  Patsy : Just say no, Eddie!

  Eddie : What?

  Patsy : Just tell her no.

  Eddie : I don't understand!

  Saffron : Let me go to Morocco.

  Patsy : No!

  Eddie : Well why not let her go to Morocco? We're going to Marrakech.

  Saffron : It's in Morocco.

  Patsy : This little scud from hell is trying to slime her way onto a trip, and we don't want it.

  Saffron : But, Mum!

  Patsy : Don't you "But, Mum" her!

• Uncle Humphrey : Now, would you like to try a local speciality?

  Saffron : Oh yes, I'd love to.

  Uncle Humphrey : Well, you take a pot of scented honey mixed with goat's cheese yoghurt, sprinkled with almonds from the Atlas Mountains. You spread it all over your naked nubile young body, and allow a man old enough to be your father to lick it off. Just like her mother. Tease, tease, tease.

• Saffron : Mum, that was Patsy?

  Eddie : Don't worry about it darling. It was only for a year and then it fell off.

• Saffron : Mum! That man pinched me!

  Patsy : Darling, don't worry. He's obviously very old and completely blind.

• Saffron : She burned me with her cigarette!

  Patsy : Accident.

• [first lines] 

  Eddie : Sweetie! Oh, darling! Oh, God, sweetie! What a day! What a day I've had, sweetie, darling, darling, darling! I have been at work since I left here this morning!

  Saffron : Do you want some lunch?

  Eddie : No, I had lunch in the studio. Studio, sweetie, studio. Studio, darling. Action, lights, camera.

  Saffron : What have you been doing?

  Eddie : Pop -Specs ad.

  Saffron : What?

  Eddie : You know I represent Pop-Specs darling? We're doing a new ad. We're up marketing the image.

  Saffron : What are Pop-Specs?

  Eddie : What are Pop-Specs! Are you dead? Are you dead? These are them! These are them! Look, darling. These are Pop-Specs! They are great. Look. Do you see that one? Here's another one, darling. Schizophrenia! They're fantastic!

  Saffron : How can you up market those?

  Eddie : Well Patsy's agreed to put them in a photo shoot in her magazine. And there s a new ad darling. New ad, sweetie, which is mainly my idea. My original idea. It's very clever. God! It better bloody work otherwise my company is gonna be left with one minor department store, two student designers, Smudgibars and Lulu paying for your upkeep, darling. And Lulu is like that, sweetie. You could show a little enthusiasm, you know.

• Saffron : Mum, why should I be happy that you're going to spend thousands of pounds on...

  Eddie : Hundreds of thousands of pounds.

  Saffron : ...persuading people to buy some cheap bit of plastic junk that they don't even want?

  Eddie : Don't know they want yet... sweetie.

  Saffron : ...That will then be thrown away after a couple of months once the novelty wears off and sit around polluting the planet.

  Eddie : That's it, is it? That's it, is it? Can I show you, can I show you something, sweetie? Can I show you something on this? Look at that.

  [Eddy points to "Pop-specs" bag] 

  Eddie : What do you think that is, there? What is that?

  Saffron : It's a sticker with a green tree on it.

  Eddie : Yes.

  Saffron : What does that mean?

  Eddie : Kind to trees, sweetie.

  Saffron : How are they kind to trees?

  Eddie : Well, they ain't made of wood. How kind do you want them to be?

• [last lines] 

  Saffron : Come on. Wake up!

  Eddie : Oh, God! Did I fall asleep here? Oh, damn. Wake up, Pats! Wake up, darling. Let's catch up on a bit of luxury, sweetie. Oh! I'm going to have some breakfast and sit by the pool or something.

  Saffron : We've got to go, it's Friday.

  Patsy : Friday?

  Saffron : You've been unconscious for three days.

  Eddie , Patsy : No!

  Eddie : What's that smell? What's that smell? Is that you, sweetie? That sort of honey, yoghurty smell? Is that you?

• Saffron : Mum!

  Patsy : Damn!