- Archie Bunker: [Gloria comes home from work, and Mike greets her with hugs and kisses] Look at them two over there. Can't yous two come up for air?
- Gloria Bunker-Stivic: Daddy, I haven't seen him all day.
- Archie Bunker: You want to see him, open your eyes and step back.
- Gloria Bunker-Stivic: Be nice, Daddy. I worked hard today.
- Archie Bunker: So did I, little girl, but you don't see me comin' home and slobberin' all over your mother.
- Edith Bunker: No, that's right, Gloria. Your father was never much of a slobberer. He's more of a pecker.
- Michael 'Meathead' Stivic: " No, no, I'm saying if this country taxed all commercial church property and canceled the oil depletion allowance, you wouldn't have to pay any taxes at all. As a matter of fact, the government would be sending everybody a dividend."