American Dad! (TV Series)

Con Heir (2005)

Seth MacFarlane: Stan Smith, Roger the Alien, Greg Corbin, Alan Greenspan

Quotes 

• Francine Smith : You quit your job!

  Stan Smith : Francine I have a chance to join the Scarlet Alliance.

  Francine Smith : You mean you haven't got the job yet!

  Stan Smith : Francine I'm going to be rich in adventure

  Francine Smith : Rich in adventure!

  [Pretends to be on the phone] 

  Francine Smith : Hello MasterCard do you take payment in the form of adventure, hello colleges I'd like to pay my son's tuition, I don't have any money but my husband is rich in adventure!

  Stan Smith : Well what'd they say.

• Francine Smith : You're the richest guy in the world because you have an adoring wife and a loving family.

  Stan Smith : I'm the richest

  [pretending to be on his cell phone] 

  Stan Smith : Hello Bill Gates turns out I'm the richest guy in the world because I have an adoring wife and a loving family , hello UNICEF

  Francine Smith : I get it.

  Stan Smith : I'd like to donate some of my immense riches, you mean children are still starving in Africa because wife love is worthless to you!

• Avery Bullock : We've located an al-Qaeda cell camped out in the desert of Algeria.

  Stan Smith : Are they planning an attack?

  Avery Bullock : No, they're just on a camping trip.

  Stan Smith : Those s'mores-making bastards!

• Francine Smith : What kind of man abandons his family for 20 years?

  Stan Smith : The manliest man, he'll do you right, seriously? you should be having sex with him, I don't think he's asleep, I can get him for you

• Francine Smith : [after finding out Stan's been lying about his father]  I can't believe you lied to me all these years.

  Stan Smith : And the best part is I'm still lying about a bunch of other stuff!

• Roger the Alien : Um... yeah. Could somebody tell Snake Pliskin here to back off?

• Francine Smith : Oh, Stan, you're probably just having a midlife crisis. Do you wanna cheat on me?

  Stan Smith : A mistress on my salary, Francine? Come on!

• Stan Smith : This awesome man is Jack Smith, my real father!

  Francine Smith : Say WHAAAAT?

• Jack : Now son, breaking in to a safe is like making love to a woman.

  Stan Smith : So, we should just pound on it for like two minutes?

• Stan Smith : I can't believe you would choose being a jewel thief over the two most important things, being a spy and your son's love.

  Jack : [pretending to be on the phone]  Hello French Riviera can I buy a shato with my sons love?

  Stan Smith : Yes, yes, we've all heard the bit.