- Otis Campbell: No. No, no. No, Andy. Don't never apologize to a woman. I say, if you got an argument with a woman, stand up and fight it out.
- Andy Taylor: Well, fightin' it out's what put you behind them bars, Otis.
- Otis Campbell: But she threw a dish at me!
- Andy Taylor: Well, you swung a leg of lamb at *her*.
- Otis Campbell: But I missed her!
- Andy Taylor: Yeah, but ya hit her mother.
- Otis Campbell: [in fond remembrance] Yeah. Right in the mouth.
- Sam Lindsey: There he is! There's the weak-kneed, chicken-livered, yella-streak turncoat!
- Barney Fife: Now, look, Sam! You got something to say, say it!
- Opie Taylor: We won! We beat them females! We kept 'em in their place!
- Andy Taylor: Yeah, well, wait just a minute.
- Opie Taylor: Us menfolk don't want women running our town, do we, Pa?