The Andy Griffith Show (TV Series)
The County Nurse (1962)
Andy Griffith: Andy Taylor
Photos
Quotes
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Andy Taylor : [showing Rafe different medical tools] That's a stethoscope. Know what it does?
Rafe Hollister : No.
Andy Taylor : Lets you hear your heartbeat. Wanna hear your heartbeat, Rafe?
Rafe Hollister : What for? I know my heart's beatin'.
Andy Taylor : Well, yeah...
Rafe Hollister : I'm alive, ain't I?
Andy Taylor : Well, yeah...
Rafe Hollister : Well, then my heart's beatin'!
Andy Taylor : Well, listen to it beat, Rafe. Here, put these two ends in your ear there. Stick 'em right in there. They won't hurt ya. That's right. Go ahead. Stick 'em right in there. All right? Now, now, listen. Listen.
[puts the stethoscope eartips on Rafe's ears and the chest-piece to his heart]
Andy Taylor : Huh? How 'bout that? Listen to mine.
[moves the chest-piece to his own chest]
Andy Taylor : Huh? Whadda ya think of that, Rafe?
Rafe Hollister : All right. Now we know we're *both* alive!
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Barney Fife : That little kissy on the jaw. That, uh, felt kinda good, didn't it?
Andy Taylor : It felt better than a mule's nose. Yes.
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Andy Taylor : You make good sense.
Rafe Hollister : Huh?
Andy Taylor : Not lettin' that nurse give you that shot. I can see now where you was 100% right!
Rafe Hollister : You can?
Andy Taylor : Oh, yeah, yeah. I understand now why you're doin' it.
Rafe Hollister : You do?
Andy Taylor : Yeah. If you was to let her give you that shot, see, you'd be passin' up your chance for immortality.
Rafe Hollister : You dang right I would. Wha'z that mean?
Andy Taylor : Immortality? Oh, that means bein' famous like Columbus or George Washington or some of them.
Rafe Hollister : Huh?
Andy Taylor : Oh. Well, see, they was famous. They was famous for - for doin' great deeds. And that's what you'll be, too. Yup. After you're dead.
Rafe Hollister : After I'm *dead*?
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Barney Fife : You know, it's a good thing she ain't campaignin' for folks to get their eyes examined.
Andy Taylor : How's that?
Barney Fife : One kiss on your jaw and we'd all be wearin' glasses!
Andy Taylor : Oh, now, come on, Barney! I mean...
Barney Fife : If she ever kissed you on the mouth, we'd all have to have our appendix taken out!
Andy Taylor : You're a nut!
Barney Fife : Well, you're a dear!
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Andy Taylor : [having sung a sad song] Don't that clutch you?
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Rafe Hollister : Andy, I don't wanna die!
Andy Taylor : But - but you'll be a dead hero!
Rafe Hollister : I don't wanna be a dead hero! I wanna be a live me!
Andy Taylor : Well, Rafe, maybe I had you figured wrong. When you refused to take the shot...
Rafe Hollister : Who won't take the shot? I'll take the shot! You go fetch that county nurse!
Andy Taylor : Well, Rafe, are you sure? She's gonna jab ya!
Rafe Hollister : I don't care! My daddy lived to be a hundred and I don't aim to break the tradition!
Andy Taylor : Well, all right. Too bad, though. You'd a made a fine statue.