- Barney Fife: Yesterday, I had the shocking experience of seein' you ridin' a cow.
- Otis Campbell: You saw me ridin' a cow?
- Barney Fife: That's right.
- Otis Campbell: Barney, I didn't think you touched the stuff.
- Barney Fife: You were ridin' a cow. Ask Andy.
- Barney Fife: Whenever you get an urge to drink, you call me. Night or day. Whenever you get that temptation, you call me. You understand?
- Otis Campbell: What for, Barn?