Are You Being Served? (TV Series)

Closed Circuit (1981)

Mollie Sugden: Mrs. Slocombe

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mr. Humphries : [trying to tactfully tell Mrs. Slocombe she looks too old on camera]  Mrs. Slocombe?

  Mrs. Slocombe : What is it? Did I do something wrong?

  Mr. Humphries : No, very good, very good. Do you know, I really believed that bit about the bargains. We've got a slight problem, though. Did you... did you ever see a film called "Lost Horizon", where they were all in Shangri-La?

  Mrs. Slocombe : Oh, that's the place where they stayed young forever.

  Mr. Humphries : Yes! Do you remember, the old priest said if they ever left the valley, they'd become very, very old, and this young girl didn't believe him, and she left and she walked down the passage, and when she got to the end, she was 110.

  Mrs. Slocombe : Well, what's that got to do with me?

  Mr. Humphries : You're halfway down the passage, you'll have to back up a bit.

• Captain Peacock : Oh, the caviar sounds rather tempting.

  Miss Brahms : Here, that's 10 pound a throw, you're not having that.

  Captain Peacock : Miss Brahms... we are here to give you a respectable background. And as Lord Hurley has been generous enough to foot the bill, I don't see why we shouldn't have a good meal while we're at it.

  Miss Brahms : That's all you're here for, isn't it?

  Mrs. Slocombe : Well, on our wages, all we could afford in this place would be egg and chips.

• Mrs. Slocombe : [on the phone]  Hello, is that Mr. Akbar? Mrs Slocombe here, your next-door neighbour. I wonder, would you do me a little favour? Would you go to my front door, bend down, look through the letter-box, and if you can see my pussy, would you drop a sardine on the mat?